Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
Life > Experiences

Be Kind to Yourself… to an Extent.

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Furman chapter.

This semester has been a ride! While COVID-19 is still present, campus has felt more normal. In-person activities are booming, in-person meetings are never-ending, and responsibilities are through the roof. It’s a lot. It’s overwhelming. To go from doing mostly everything virtually to everything back in-person is a lot. For most, it has impacted mental health causing people to become extremely anxious, overwhelmed, stressed, exhausted. I am one of those people: overcommitted, overwhelmed, and honestly, over it. At times, I cannot wait to be out of the roles I am in and take a breather. In times of feeling this way, I tell myself, and similarly others, “Hey, be kind to yourself! You’re doing your best!”. An appropriate response for some situations, yes, but I have come to find sometimes, people are being too kind to themselves (myself, included) and hot take: it has perpetuated an unaccountable population of young adults using  mental health as the reason to slack off on obligations constantly. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, mental health struggles are valid. If you read my other articles, you know I am a huge supporter of being open about your mental health struggles. However, I have found that many use it as an outlet to not do the work they sign up for. For myself, I find myself pushing off homework when I have hours of free time, telling myself I deserve a break for my mental health. While this is true, it is a continuous cycle of me not doing my work when I should be and then blaming a low grade on a professor rather than myself. Hot take, Savannah: if you put more than an hour into an assignment the night before its due, maybe you’d get a better grade. Just a thought!

Honestly though, I would not have called myself out had I not experienced it first as an “authority figure.” By this I mean, on campus I hold leadership roles that require individuals to meet deadlines I set, provide me with work I need, you get the gist. With that being said, this semester I have been overwhelmingly frustrated with the lack of accountability numerous people have in roles that they wanted to be in. From missing countless meetings to me needing to hand hold and guide people through their jobs, it’s upsetting. When you work in the real world, you will not get spoon fed ideas for your role. Your hand will not be held to make sure you do your job time-after-time. It is up to you to take the initiative and accountability to do your job and to do it well. Yes, extenuating circumstances happen that require more assistance and guidance, like when you first begin your job or if an emergency occurs, but otherwise, you need to hold yourself accountable and do your responsibilities. 

Mental health, largely, has been impacted by COVID-19, and that is valid. However,  it also has been a popular excuse fed to me (and others) for reasons of not doing one’s responsibilities. I’m here to say: mental health cannot be an excuse to not perform your duties. Some weeks you will perform better than others and that is fine–life happens. It is not fine to consistently neglect your roles, disrespect the time of others relying on your contributions, and to turn a blind-eye to your own responsibilities. Life does not work that way. It is important to establish an accountable mindset in college where your roles and jobs do not fully (or at all) impact your income. Sometimes we will not want to do the things we have to do.  Sometimes we will be exhausted emotionally and physically and not want to do our duties. It stinks to be in that position, one that I know all too well, but we still have to do our responsibilities and do them with our best and honest effort. This article is not written to discount or invalidate mental health struggles. I suffer from anxiety and depression and understand that some days getting out of bed is not possible. That is valid. I never want anyone to feel like I am ignoring that. However, I have had to learn to cope with that. I have had to learn how to continue to advance my life with those mental health struggles, rather than letting it overcome who I am as a friend, sister, leader, etc. It takes time and is not easy but it all starts with being honest to yourself, seeking help for your struggles, and managing your responsibilities with the proper tools. Life out of college is not as forgiving as the college student writing this article. So, yes, be kind to yourself, always… but hold yourself responsible and accountable to do the work you need to do.

Savannah Hobbie is a senior Politics & International Affairs and Communications double major at Furman University. She hopes to attend law school after college. Aside from Her Campus, she is on the executive boards for both Panhellenic Council and the Chi Omega sorority at Furman. She is a mentor for Ladies of Distinction and is an orientation leader. She also has two internships serving as a social media manager. Her passions include self-care, writing about vulnerable topics, beauty, spreading love, and hyping people up!