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Writing in the Wall: A Journey in Tallahassee Dive Bar Graffiti

I’m not sure what possessed me to do this, but I made a journalistic pursuit out of checking out dive bar bathrooms all around town. I hit up The Warehouse, St. Michael’s Pub, Birds Oyster Shack, Poor Paul’s, MoMo’s, The Palace, and more to check out what people write on the walls when they are anonymous and in private.

Some was incredibly vulgar, some was funny, some wrote depressing and angsty things, others just drunkenly rambled. So sit back and scroll down to see the best of what’s in the bathrooms right now!

It’s important to note that some of these were taken in the ladies room by my girlfriend and others were taken in the men’s room by myself. 

What a nice person! Honestly just words to live by, I was a janitor for a little while and I wish everyone was as thoughtful as this bar-goer.  

Your cat just loves you and wants you to be home. You know, for food. 

I’ve seen this face around town, its like that person you see everywhere at random times. 

“Just say no to sex with Pro-lifers.” I thought this was interesting because of this mix of politics and personal angst. 

Look at this lonely bar bathroom man. What a sad and armless existence of watching people use the urinal. 

“Drugs” I see this all tag around town!

Do the Seminole chop, but be sure not to make a mess!

It’s just not the same anymore and this drunken man is very concerned about that. 

“My parents fkin’ met here!”


“Was my mom most likely a (Expletive Deleted)?”

This person is having a horrifying drunken realization. 

I see a pretty lady in this picture. Her chin looks like the McDonald’s logo. 

“Skinny and the Diggs. Can you digg it?”


Ok, Mr. Dinosaur man… What do you think?

Smoking in the bathroom is such a high-schooler thing to do. 

“Walmart, Y U no sell walls?” 

“Democracy – One candidate more than a dictatorship.”

I don’t know how many candidates you had on your ballet, bro. I had several. 

“Holy (Expletive Deleted), I’m getting married!”

“Yep, me 2.”

“Now I’m divorced.”

“Yep, me 2.”

These two gentlemen know that life is a wild ride.

Next time any of you ladies are enjoying some bathroom time at Poor Paul’s, be sure to open superman’s flap. 

“When life gives you lemons, turn that (expletive deleted) sorbet… Italian Ice.”

Yeah I’d much rather have that than a lemonade. 

Thanks, helpful little man, for pointing out where I may find some toilet paper. 

Stuff like this needs to stay on the internet.


This bathroom wall denizen bears a striking resemblance to the grandfather from “Hey Arnold.” He can stay.  

Well, I was going to… but now I don’t feel like it. 

This should have a question mark instead of an exclamation mark. I guess he is a punctuation anarchist. 

A statement about gun control? Birth control? Prostitution? Who knows!

Throwback to the days when I sympathized with the kids in the trix commercials. 

Look at this relaxing beach scene, it being on a black background makes it seem like it’s a night time scene. 

Who knew I could love this much?


You can tell this was in a women’s room because no one wrote anything mean near it. 

Seems like some sound advice, Anarchy cat. 

Would you kiss a bathroom wall? Maybe if it was coming on to me and nobody would ever find out…

I’m sure that I didnt even scratch the surface of Tallahassee bar graffiti so next time you are drunkenly taking a tinkle, be sure to look at the writing on the wall!


Gerrit Van Lent is a Senior studying Political Science, English, and Public Administration. He spends the majority of his time on campus or at the office of The Children's Campaign, a non-profit that informs elected officials and works on behalf of vulnerable and at-risk children, where he does public policy research and legislative affairs coordination. Gerrit is active on campus and in the community via Alpha Phi Omega, a co-ed community service fraternity engaged in service around Tallahassee. In his free time, Gerrit enjoys practicing martial arts at Logan's Martial Arts Academy, skateboarding, listening to music, video games, and enjoying time with friends. His interests include eating candy, cooking, pets, action movies, dungeons and dragons, and other rad stuff.
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