Listen, I get it. I know that Valentine’s Day can be tough. Feeling like you have no reason to celebrate the romantic holiday, or maybe you just went through a nasty break up and love is the last thing on your mind. I just want you to know that it’s ok! With that being said, there are ways you can still enjoy this holiday even with the pain of losing someone or just being single.
Almost two years ago I broke up with someone I had been dating for a long time, pretty close to Valentine’s Day. When the dreaded day began, I didn’t even want to show my face in school. But, I quickly realized that this day could be a day of cleansing. After school, I went home, and I went through all the memories I had on my phone from that relationship. I ended up deleting quite a bit of photos, and it felt so good! In movies, it’s common to see a girl gang go and smash the heart breaker’s car window or burn all of the stuff the brokenhearted received from their ex, but these feelings and actions of negativity don’t have to be necessary. Flash-forward to today, and I can see how this little self – cleanse session I had helped me move on, especially with no hard feelings. I didn’t think it would ever get to the point of friendship again, but that little step was a definite point of progress.
You can’t deny the fact that Valentine’s Day is a materialistic fiasco of flowers, candies, oversized stuffed animals, etc. And, unfortunately, for many people, they miss out on the fun of gift-giving because they don’t have anyone to give them. This can change! This may sound taboo, but give yourself these things! Let this a be way of rewarding yourself for all the hard work you have accomplished. Whether you have won an award or just simply gone to class most of the days and turned in most of your homework, don’t count yourself out on those cute treats that people get to have simply because they find someone else attractive. Not to discount the people in loving relationships, but I think it would be much more rewarding to give yourself a little something for being a single boss lady and having a legitimate reason to reward yourself instead of relying on someone else to get them for you.
One has to be careful when participating in self – care days. Too little can lead to forgetting that you are important, and too many can cause one to put off work and not realize the needs of others. With that being said, Valentine’s Day is the day of all days to just relax and take care of you! Whether it’s buying that shirt you’ve been eyeing, eating a huge spoonful of raw cookie dough, or binge-watching a TV series with no regrets, let this be a day of self-restoration. There is no right or wrong. If getting all of your homework done for the next week is how you want to spend your self-care day, more power to you! Let go and relax!
The important thing to realize is that you are worth celebrating. Relationships can be painful. It can be even more painful to see everyone else in one, feeling like you are the only one who doesn’t have a significant other. I am here to tell you that that is simply not true. There are thousands of people just in your vicinity that are single, and there are billions of people who are single too. There is nothing wrong with you. You haven’t done anything wrong to deserve not being in a relationship. It’s just not your turn yet. I have found that being single has helped me learn how to be ok with myself alone. I encourage you to make a Valentine’s Day resolution and go out more by yourself. Go to the grocery store by yourself; go to the library by yourself. Just do something that you would normally do with your friends by yourself (without putting yourself in danger, of course). Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a day dedicated to bitterness. It can be a day dedicated to you. Because you are worth it.
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