Let’s face it Collegiettes, going out for a couple of drinks or dancing at a club is fun and all, but sometimes it brings more bad than good. With our wallets crying from how broke we all are, why not spend the night… or the rest of the weekend (because you will) watching Netflix? When you’re contemplating going out and spending money that you could rather spend on food (like Chipotle), think about how Netflix treats you so much better than a night out does…
Netflix never criticizes your outfit.
You spend at least an hour trying to figure out what you’re going to wear because your friends keep telling you reasons why you shouldn’t wear that outfit. When you finally find something cute, you end up spending over two hours getting dressed… just to go into a dark room where people don’t notice what color shoes you’re wearing.
Netflix embraces fashion PJs all night and day. Don’t worry; Netflix will never criticize your style of PJ.
Netflix welcomes more than just you, free of charge!
Sometimes trying to go out to a club with your friends is difficult. If you miss 11 pm or midnight, you instantly have cover to worry about.
Don’t worry Collegiettes, Netflix won’t get jealous and charge you extra for bringing a couple of friends along for the night.
Netflix won’t bump into you and drop their drinks on you.
If you have gone out, you know the struggle of having random people bump into you. EVERY. 5. SECONDS! The claustrophobia keeps creeping up on you, and you have to control yourself before you punch the girl who keeps crashing into you with her drink.
On the other hand, you can always avoid smelling like sweat, alcohol, and cigarettes by staying in your warm, spacious, bed. Which sounds more appealing to you?
Netflix isn’t an angry drunk.
Well, the girl that keeps bumping into you ends up screaming at you because she overheard you complaining about her. Now you have to deal with her raccoon eyes popping out of her head, as she waves her hands in the air trying to scream over the music.
Netflix would never do that to you.
Netflix also isn’t the sad drunk.
You get past angry raccoon eyes, and your friend starts getting emotional from the scene. She starts to hug you and cry, and your claustrophobia has just increased two levels.
There, there…. remember Netflix may make you cry, but it’s always a good cry.
Netflix is definitely not the, “I’m sexy, and I know it” drunk.
So you finally calm your friend down and get her to start dancing again, just in time for you to be approached by a guy who has been eyeing you all night. He slips himself behind you without you noticing, and you instantly get chills. His breathe reeks of alcohol, and makes you cough. You turn to give him death eyes. He winks.
EVACUATE!! Remember Collegiettes, Netflix will always provide you with gorgeous eye candy who aren’t intoxicated and trying to feel up on you.
Netflix, unlike a night of drinking, keeps you from making a fool of yourself.
So that drunk, weird, guy made you feel over the night. You end up drinking your annoyances away. The people shoving you don’t seem to bother you anymore. You start to enjoy the music. How did you end up dancing on the bar?
Netflix won’t put you in embarrassing predicaments… or have proof if any exist.
Netflix doesn’t have a set time that it closes.
Closing time, or the time your designated driver decides to leave, is never the best time for an intoxicated individual. You want to keep dancing, but the bartender is about ready to shut down.
Remember, you can always sip on your favorite wine way past closing time if you go on a date with Netflix.
The only hangover Netflix will give you is a binge show hangover.
So you went out all night, and the next morning you feel like you’re dying. You have instantly become useless for the whole day until you feel like yourself again. You spent the rest of your night by the toilet, and now you can’t seem to leave your bed or even hear people speak.
If you would have stayed in your bed with Netflix in the first place, you wouldn’t feel bad.
Netflix keeps you from losing things the next day.
The next morning, you franticly search for missing items that have been tossed around your room from the night before. Did I put my license back in my purse? Did I leave it in the car? I hope I didn’t lose it at the bar…
Netflix always makes sure you don’t lose anything… unless you lost the remote in your covers again.
In the end, Netflix leaves you inspired to do amazing things, while going out for drinks just leaves you with smelly clothes and a headache.
Netflix takes care of us. It caters to our needs, how we are feeling, and how we want to feel. Netflix leaves us wanting to explore the worlds that we watch, leaves us wanting to find the love of our lives, and leaves us laughing all night long.
Netflix. You are the real MVP. I’ll take you over a packed club any day.