I’ve always considered myself to be someone who prefers being alone and who needs a lot of space from people. Back in high school, I was never one to have a full social calendar. I had a social life, but one that mostly revolved around being in class and participating in extracurricular activities. I always had friends, but never had a solid friend group, so outside of these things I spent a lot of time at home. I always said that this was because I preferred my own company, but I’ve begun to realize that that time alone that I spent in high school was rarely self-imposed. A lot of times I stayed home because the people I’d ask to hang out were busy or because I wanted someone to ask me to hang out instead of always being the one to make the plans. In the past year, I realized that I’m almost always seeking out company because the reality is that I don’t really like spending time alone very much. This isn’t to say that I don’t value my alone time, because I do. Very much. But when I’m without another person to entertain me, I don’t really know how to occupy my time, which I’ve realized is not a good thing. The reality is, we’re all going to spend long periods of our lives alone with ourselves, and if we can’t learn how to enjoy that time now, we’re going to be miserable.
Back in the fall, a girl in my speech class did her persuasive speech about the benefits of doing things alone and it really stuck with me. Honestly, just think about how many things you’ve missed out on because you didn’t want to go alone. Concerts, restaurants, coffee shops, museums, movies. I can think of so many things I decided not to do just because no one would go with me, and thinking back on it, I regret most of them.
Courtesy: Olena Sergienko
Why should we deny ourselves the pleasure of a good meal at a restaurant simply because all our friends are busy, no one wants to go, or we’re afraid people will think we’re weird? And don’t do the takeout thing either; sit down at the restaurant where the food will be fresh and served to you, and enjoy that meal. Bring a book if you don’t want to sit idly. And who cares if you get a few looks? You’re having a good time, so if they want to make fun of you, they can suck it.
I’ve always enjoyed going to the movies by myself, but that’s pretty much the extent of it, and even that is really only something I do when I’m sad. In the past month, I’ve been trying to teach myself how to do more things on my own and actually enjoy them. Over New Year’s, I took a trip to LA (alone) to visit one of my best friends who’s working out there. Because she has a real grown-up job, she had only the 31st and 1st off, which meant she’d have to work one day while I was there. At first, I decided I’d just chill in her apartment and watch TV, but when I really thought about it, I was in a new city (a very big one at that) and was only in town for a few days. What’s the point of me being in a new place if I’m not going to see things (well obviously the point of the trip was to visit my friend, but you know what I mean)? So, in the name of growth, while my friend spent her day at her office, I bought a metro pass, rode to Santa Monica and spent the day exploring.
Courtesy: Brittany Files
I ended up walking around the beach near Santa Monica Pier and just people watching, taking pictures and enjoying the nice weather. Since I was alone, I had no one to take any pictures of me. With this being the first time I’d seen the Pacific Ocean, I felt like I wanted some pictures (for the mems), but I’m terrible at taking selfies, so I set up my phone on one of the lifeguard towers with a self-timer. Were these pictures good? No. Did I look like an idiot to every single person around me? Absolutely. Do I regret this? Absolutely not. I did actually end up getting a couple that weren’t horrible, but it took a lot of effort. That was the fun part, though.
Courtesy: Brittany Files
California is known for its sunsets, and being the sucker that I am for a good sunset, I ended my day with a nice romantic walk on the beach with myself. I took myself on a date if you will. And I’m so glad I did. The sunset that night was by far the best of my trip, and one of the most incredible I’ve seen. And I would’ve missed it if I’d stayed in.
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