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Why I Gave My Ex a Second Chance

I know when you break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it seems as if it will be permanent. As if, for once in your life, you have made the best decision you possibly could, that you were finally putting yourself and your feelings first after they had hurt you. Of course, when it happened, it was obvious that you would NEVER get back together.

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There are those moments though, like when you’re lying in bed and you are missing a goodnight text from them, or when you no longer have someone to call and complain to 24/7, or when you see other couples strolling around campus, sneaking in kisses without even trying to hide it from the heartbroken, that you feel utterly alone and begin to consider giving your significant other a second chance.

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There are many reasons to get back with that special someone. The first is that they have finally listened to everything you have had to say and have done something to try to apologize and correct their behavior for the future. If they are attempting to keep you around, then they obviously have realized how much you mean to them. This type of gesture should not be taken lightly, especially if the main reason you broke up with your significant other could be resolved, and they took the first step in that direction.

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Be aware though that despite the fact that this gesture means a lot, you should only stay with that person if they have fixed the issue permanently. A temporary solution does not help anyone, and it causes your significant other to feel as if they only have to change their behavior in short bursts to keep you around, which is never going to make you fully happy. A more lasting solution could also include you changing your behavior to compromise with some of the issues that your significant other is battling against. This will ensure a magical happily ever after.

Another reason that could cause a rekindling of the flame might be some time apart. Some couples need a breather from each other, or are just at different points in their lives (long distance couples specifically), or are beginning their relationship in emotionally unstable situations (beginning a relationship in the midst of tragedy). There is a chance that if you are together with someone and you break up because things aren’t working out after some time has passed the two of you can grow more mature in an emotional aspect and overcome the differences that caused all the previous problems you were having. The important thing is to find your sense of self and be confident in who you are before ever joining into a relationship. Once in that relationship, your significant other should complement the person that you have become in order to create a healthy and loving relationship. As for being at different points of your lives, if you are in a long distance relationship and break up because you are never able to see each other, or if you live in the same town but are in different places emotionally (for example one of you wants to party constantly and the other person wants to take their career and future more seriously), some time apart can cause the two of you to finally be in the same emotional state (both of you are now career-driven). Finally, if you decide to begin a relationship because you are in need of attention, care, and comfort through an emotionally tragic time, you should not consider getting back together with someone until you have healed. The entire basis of a relationship is formed on your mental and emotional health. So if you and your significant other are able to heal over time after your break-up, then you should pursue your relationship once more.

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To all those ladies out there, looking for some advice, I hope you found it here.

A major in Criminology with an interest in everything else
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