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Sex + Relationships

Why Heartbreak Could Be the Best Thing for You (Really)

During the height of the coronavirus pandemic, it seemed like every girl on TikTok was going through a breakup, including myself. While I didn’t make a viral video to cope with my pain, I do know that breakups suck. Trust me, I found it extremely hard to find the good in saying goodbye. After two years of being together, I felt like everything I experienced with this person was being thrown away. Now almost four months later, I have a more positive outlook on the situation. However, healing is a process that isn’t linear, and some days the pain from it still stings. After ending a long term relationship, it can definitely be scary to be single, but don’t let society guilt you into making you think you need a partner.

You don’t need him or her even if your mind tries to convince you that you do. There is so much you can explore and learn about yourself from being single. The new free time you have with yourself can lead to the creation of new hobbies you didn’t know you enjoyed. I’m not saying you have to completely immerse yourself in activities to keep your mind off the breakup. In fact, let yourself feel the emotion. It’s okay to spend a few days in your bed eating out of the same tub of ice cream. Time is truly a healer of most things and eventually, you will feel like yourself again.

It all depends on the person for how long it takes someone to “move on”. Even when it seems like you’ve let go of them, the good times you shared will probably come back to haunt you. When this happens, take a breather and remember the reason why you broke up. They weren’t right for you and you have to tell yourself that. You can smile and look back on the relationship for what it was. You don’t have to purge every single memory of them. That being said, DO NOT put your life on hold for someone. Let yourself be sad, but letting a single person control your emotions is unhealthy. One day I promise you will wake up and feel different. You will be okay.

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Once you’ve healed, you may want to date around again. Don’t be afraid of opening yourself back up. I know, it seems completely exhausting having to explain your whole life story to a new person. Remember, not all dates you go on will lead to long-term relationships. You will likely have to go through a few Brads or Justins before you find Mr. Right. Dating in college is difficult, as some are looking for love and others simply don’t want to be tied down. At the end of the day, don’t blame yourself if something doesn’t work out. There are thousands of other potential matches out there. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. Don’t dwell on what you could’ve done differently and walk away from the situation with the lessons it taught you.

Heartbreak can lead to some of the most valuable self-reflection. Being put through millions of emotions causes you to come out of the breakup as a stronger person. Personally, my heartbreak happened at a time when I didn’t know who I was. I wasn’t happy with myself outside of the relationship and being broken up with taught me the importance of self-love. I never thought I’d repeat this cliché but make sure you love who you are before you love anyone else. One day when you’re not looking, love will find you again. For now, the best relationship you can work on is with yourself.

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Emma loves to write but when she's not writing, you can usually find her at the gym. She is a Peer Navigator at FSU and also interns at FSU's College of Communication and Information.
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