Ah, love languages. If you are like me, then you probably thought this was just a funny trend that people on Tik Tok would use for views. Creators would post videos claiming their love language was rejection (relatable if you ask me). But it turns out that there are 5 love languages laid out to us by marriage counselor Gary Chapman. While rejection is not one of the love languages described by Chapman, I might have to petition for it to be the additional sixth.
Nevertheless, in his book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, Chapman details the five types of languages in addition to describing how to strengthen and better your relationships through understanding and recognition of each love language. Essentially, Chapman intends to express that people feel and express love in different ways. How one person expresses their love may not be the same as how their partner does and vice versa. Knowledge and understanding of your partner's love language are key when it comes to communicating and ensuring that your partner feels appreciated and of course, loved.
You can find out more about your love language with this handy- dandy quiz, brought to us by yours truly, Gary Chapman. Now, you don’t have to be in a relationship to find out your love language but if you are, then I suggest sharing and comparing it with your partner. It is normal and acceptable to have different love languages, as long as you have an understanding and appreciation for your SO’s then you should be set.
Starting us off (purely because it’s my primary love language, and not because of any hierarchical order) we have Quality Time, which simply means that nothing says “I love you” better than someone's undivided attention. The key thing here is that it’s not enough for your partner to be with you, moreover, you want them to be there for you. Spending uninterrupted on-on-one time is the way to your heart. Even if you’re not participating in anything special, the sheer act of sharing in each other's company keeps you happy.
Now I’m guessing for the high school students who always made out in the courtyard or hallways between classes, Physical Touch is their love language. As the name implies, if physical touch is your language then you love nothing more than physical demonstrations of love. These include, but are not limited to, intimate expressions. Even the slightest notion of holding hands in public or a kiss on the forehead can mean the world to you.
Words of Affirmation
In this case, actions do not speak louder than words. Even though you probably already know it, sometimes all you need is for someone to tell you that they love you. If this is your love language then you thrive off compliments and nothing makes you happier than your partner verbally expressing their feelings for you. While affirmation goes a long way with you, so do insults. They can carry as much weight, if not more than a compliment does. If this is your partner's love language, then do yourself a favor and try not to insult them as they probably find it a lot harder to overcome than you would.
Acts of Service
Perhaps the most flexible and broad love language of them all, acts of service means you just want to know that your partner has been thinking about you and love it when they find considerate ways of showing it. Simple acts go a long way in your book as you feel most appreciated when your partner goes out of their way to help you. Anything from filling up their gas tank to folding their laundry could score you some big points if this is your partner's primary language.
Christmas is without a doubt your favorite holiday and there is no shame in that. This language does not mean that you are shallow or that you depend on flashy gifts to affirm your partner’s love for you. Your love for gifts goes beyond its materialistic impression as you want the gift to show thought and consideration for things that are meaningful and characteristic to you. So while gifts are important to you, the type of gift matters just as much, if not more, because for you it is the thought that counts.