‘Twas the Night Before Finals Week at FSU
(After “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” by Clement Clarke Moore)
‘Twas the night before finals, when all through Club Strozier,
Not a student was ready, not even a loser.
The laptops were open on the third floor because face,
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In hopes that a curve soon would be in place.
The professors were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of scantrons and trick questions danced in their heads;
And my Blackboard open, and worries about my exam.
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Had just ordered Starbucks for a long winter’s cram.
When out on the Landis there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the red padded chair to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like Jimbo,
And peaked out the foggy window.
The moon hit Landis on the new-fallen rain;
Gave hope at that not much studying remained.
When what to my unfocused eyes should appear,
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But a Willie Taggart, and many perfect chops.
With a speech, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment he must have a big dream.
More rapid than a gator his words they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
“Now, Gavin! Now, McFadden! Now, James and Patrick!
On, Murray! On, Burns! on, Thomas and Francois!
To the top of the stadium! To the top of the library!
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Now score away! Pass away! Pass away all!”
He was dressed all in garnet, from his head to his toe,
And his clothes were dirty with grass and well, you know;
A bundle of spears he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a true ‘Nole just opening his pack.
He spoke a few words, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the hopes; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside on his nose,
And giving a nod, back to the team bus he rose.
He sprang to his players, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, he drove out and swerved,
“HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A SOLID CURVE!”