One of the great things about living in a college town is the number of local mom & pop-type restaurants that you just can’t find anywhere else. Tallahassee has a lot of these, but not all are created equal.
1. Momo’s Pizza and Brew
1416 W Tennessee St, Tallahassee, FL
Everybody raves about Momo’s, and there’s always a long line of customers wrapping around the restaurant. My only question is WHY? Sure, the slices are “As Big As Your Head,” but when it feels like you’re gnawing on a piece of cardboard, that’s not necessarily a good thing. Plus, the music is super loud and is usually of the screamo variety, the wait is always over 30 minutes, and they give you that really cheap silverware that tastes like metal when you bite into your food, which just gives me painful flashbacks to my years with braces. I just realized that it sounds like the owner of Momo’s murdered my entire family or something, but I just think this place is overrated, and that there are better places to get pizza in Tally.
Momo’s: 1 ½ out of 5 donuts.
2. Decent Pizza
1026 N Monroe St, Tallahassee, FL
Speaking of better than Momo’s, let’s talk about Decent Pizza. I know the name doesn’t sound encouraging, but I promise that DP is way better than it gives itself credit for. From the outside it looks like this place could be a front for an undercover meth operation, but I think I would still eat here if I found out that it was. My morals get clouded very easily when pizza is involved.
Decent Pizza: 4 out of 5 donuts.
3. Wells Brothers Bar and Grill (AKA Monk’s)
1710 W Tharpe St, Tallahassee, FL
If you’re looking for a good burger place in Tally, look no further. They’ve got a pretty extensive menu, so everyone can find something they like (Unless you like gross food, then refer to #1). And seriously, any place with a menu item titled “The Gator-Hater” has got to be good, am I right?
Monk’s: 4 out of 5 donuts.
4. Mr. Roboto’s
2043 W Pensacola St, Tallahassee, FL
If you’re a student at FSU, you’ve probably gone to Roboto’s at least… 300 times this semester alone. Honestly, it’s good, but not great. The prices are pretty reasonable for the amount of food you get, but why all the fuss? DAT YUM-YUM SAUCE, THO. Pro tip: If you have no shame, fill up a water cup full of yum-yum sauce while the cashiers aren’t looking so you can put it on all your meals at home as you pretend that the creamy base for the sauce is greek yogurt rather than mayonnaise.
Roboto’s: 2 ½ out of 5 donuts.
Yum-yum sauce: 5 out of 5 donuts.
5. Bada Bean
2500 Apalachee Pkwy, Tallahassee, FL
Bada is by far my favorite breakfast place in Tally. (Please don’t even waste my time trying to argue with me about this. You’ll just embarrass yourself.) Everything on the menu is amazing (breakfast wraps, omelets, cinnamon roll pancakes), and I’ve been there so many times that I’ve probably tried just about everything. A tip to the wise: inside is pretty cramped and loud, so go for the outdoor seating. Also, I was informed (by my brother, so I can’t attest to the credibility) that the coffee pot marked “flavor” is not flavored coffee, but flavored coffee syrup. If that’s true, then I’ve had at least three cups of straight coffee syrup. Just call me Buddy the Elf.
Bada Bean: 5 out of 5 donuts.
6. Donut Kingdom
685 W Tennessee St, Tallahassee, FL
This place holds a very special place in my heart (my rating system is donuts, for crying out loud). DK (Donut Kingdom, not Donkey Kong. What is WRONG with you?) is known for their specialty donuts, like the Twix and Snickers donuts. If you want the best first impression, try getting there right in the morning when they’re fresh out of the oven because they do get a little dry toward the end of the day. I’m not going to tell you how many red velvet donuts with cream cheese icing I’ve ordered this year because I don’t want to have an intervention on my hands, but let’s just say cream cheese icing now courses through my veins instead of blood.
Donut Kingdom: 4 out of 5 donuts.
Other honorable mentions include Ted’s Montana Grill, Pitaria, Big Easy Snowballs (Don’t tell me snow cones aren’t a meal, I’m an ADULT!), and Canopy Road Café.