*Her Campus FSU does not promote illegal behavior and encourages all students to make smart, healthy decisions. This article does not represent the views of Her Campus FSU.
Welcome to the latest in relationships, sex, love and dating. Introducing, “The Scoop with Szmuc” (Smook) and no, that’s not pronounced schmuck. Every week we’re giving our readers an opportunity to send in their questions to Her Campus FSU staff writer and relationship guru Sharon Szmuc relating to the theme of the week. This week, Sharon will be discussing that sacred V-word we save for someone special and no, it’s not vagina.
Photo By: Hana Bilicki
In the hookup culture we live in, it’s assumed that everyone isn’t a virgin anymore or that when a girl goes home with someone from the club she’ll have sex with him. Want to know something shocking? There are a lot of college students that are still virgins. I know, God bless them, may they save themselves for someone special or run far away from all those f*ckboys before it’s too late! There’s a lot of things virgins need advice on like what to do when they decide that they are ready or if the guy from College Algebra they’ve been seeing for two months may actually be the one that swipes that v-card away. No worries, I’m here to help! My first tip is to use purple wrapper condoms Trojan brand or Bare Skin (those feel the best).
Danielle C.,* 20
I’ve been seeing this guy for a month and he sleeps over my house every weekend after we come drunk from the bar. We’ve done everything else, but I am afraid to have sex with him since it’ll be my first time. So, should I?
Dear Danielle,
Is he cute? Because if he is, then you should totally do it! Just kidding. Don’t ever think that way. I have a few questions for you to consider. Do you like him? Do you think you will be dating long-term? Do you think he’ll call back? If you answered yes to all of these, then it leads me to more questions: Do you care to lose it to someone who you don’t love? Do you care that you’ve only known him for a month? If you think that it’s time and he looks like an alright candidate, then do it. But don’t do it just to do it because you want to fit in with everyone else. If you’re doing something just to not be last to lose the race, then you’re losing your virginity for all the wrong reasons. I know I joke a lot about sex because in all honesty it’s probably the funniest thing us humans do. Think about it: he sticks his penis inside you. How do those words sound flattering? And if he claims to have a nine-inch penis, then it probably will be painful. (But no one has a nine inch penis and all men exaggerate).
My sole advice is to know that the first time will be uncomfortable regardless if you’re seven shots drunk or completely sober. It’ll be weird having a penis stuck inside you. It’ll probably last less than 10 minutes. You’ll want to pee right after. It won’t be like a Nicolas Sparks film where cheesy John Mayer music is playing in the background and candles are lit. Instead, he’ll put the condom on and too excited for his own good, he’ll rush the whole thing. You won’t think it feels good because it actually sucks since it’ll be the first time your vagina experiences that much friction. More than likely, you’ll fall for this guy just for the sole fact that he took away your v-card. So my last question is, are you prepared to catch the love bug for this guy? If so, then I hope your first time is everything you ever want it to be and more and if it isn’t, then don’t worry, they’ll be plenty of guys who will make it magical. Atleast you won’t be nervous the second time around.
–Sharon
Jessica K.,* 18
I’ve done everything else with other guys, but haven’t had sex. I had a boyfriend for a while, but I didn’t feel comfortable having sex with him. Since he was my first relationship, I think I’m now ready, but not sure. Help.
Dear Jessica,
You’ll never be ready. We are never just ready. We weren’t ready to get our periods but Mother Nature had control over that and bam! We became women. We weren’t ready for our first kiss, but then you turned 13 and Max kissed you in the middle of the movie theatre. We weren’t ready for a lot of things, just like we weren’t ready to move away from home and live in a dorm with a roommate we would hate. So if you think you’re ready, then go for it with whoever you feel is worth giving that up for. Some girls don’t really care and want to get it over with and I support that too. Especially since some girls don’t really have feelings or have a zero f*cks given personality. But you seem like the kind of girl that cares so if you’re already thinking about it, then you must be on the track to being ready.
Word of advice: when he starts to put the condom on, you still won’t be ready. When you’re actually having sex, you still won’t feel ready. After the whole thing, you’ll have regrets and doubts or you’ll love it and want to do it again. But even after the first or the second or the third guy, you’ll never feel ready because as human beings we never even feel ready to take the exam that we stayed up until 5 a.m. taking shots of espresso to pass. Trust me, my first time was out of a scene from One Tree Hill with roses, candles and even a banner that said “Happy Anniversary” written on my wall from my boyfriend at the time. Oh, and “She Will Be Loved” could be heard in the background. I remember my boyfriend asking if I was ready, and us both shaking from how nervous we were. And even though I looked up at him and said I was, I lied. It wasn’t as romantic as it seems and I was nervous that my parents would come home. Lucky for you, your parents aren’t in sight and Maroon 5 is out of style, anyways. Will you ever be ready? Probably not. Should you do it? That’s for you to decide and for me to wonder if you ever really did.
–Sharon
*Names have been changed to protect identity.
For next week’s theme, Rejection 101, Sharon will be answering questions on everything from dealing with that cute boy (or girl) rejecting you to how to tell the guy in class that we don’t really want anything from him other than his help landing an A in Business Calc. Whatever the case may be, submit your questions to hercampusfsu1@gmail.com stating your first name, last name, first initial and age by midnight this Thursday, March 10. If you would like to be published anonymously, we can do that as well. Just ask when you submit! The first three people to submit questions will receive a free beauty product, which may come in handy to seduce the hottie from Spring Break! Remember, girls and guys are encouraged to send in questions, so stop swiping right and ask away!