*Her Campus FSU does not promote illegal behavior and encourages all students to make smart, healthy decisions. This article does not represent the views of Her Campus FSU.
Welcome to the latest in relationships, sex, love and dating. Introducing, “The Scoop with Szmuc” (Smook) and no, that’s not pronounced schmuck. Every week we’re giving our readers an opportunity to send in their questions to Her Campus FSU staff writer and relationship guru Sharon Szmuc relating to the theme of the week. This week, Sharon got a little help from long distance relationship guru, Caroline Stray.
You’ve probably have been dating your high school sweetheart since junior year of high school and now as you head into your senior year and think about the future, you wonder if this long distance relationship really should continue. On the bright side, you have learned the best lessons of all from dating your S.O. from afar: trust and communication! So to that we applaud you. You’ve probably even mastered the perfect snapchat selfie, but when it comes to the holidays we always need ideas on how to make our long distance babe feel loved even when they’re 500 hundred miles away!
Hannah T.,* 19
How do you combat the “Why are you in a long distance relationship?”question from friends who are living that college single life?
Dear Hannah,
Ah, the famous question. Why don’t you want to go out and hookup with random guys every night? Why don’t you want to constantly worry about why that new guy hasn’t texted you? Why don’t you want to dress up every time you go in public because your future husband might be there? To me, these are rhetorical questions. However, I understand that this can be a difficult concept for outsiders to understand. Believe it or not, long distance can be amazing for a relationship. You still have all the excitement of the honeymoon stage because you see them so rarely, but with all the comfort of knowing them better than yourself. You don’t have to worry about what you look like in public, ever! Why? Because the only person that matters is miles away and thinks you’re beautiful either way. You still have the luxury of having a social life away from your partner, but minus the act of taking random guys home. College is a time to build on yourself. Being in a long distance relationship allows you to not only fall more in love with someone each day (yes, the arguing does suck, but absence DOES make the heart grow fonder!) but it also allows you to be who you want to be on your own time. Next time your friends ask you can tell them that love does win, and if you really love someone, they’re worth the four hour car ride, $40 gas tank and the amount of minutes over on your phone bill.
–Caroline Stray
Brittany F.,* 20
My boyfriend lives in Gainesville and since the drive is only over two hours, I visit him almost every weekend, but I always wonder if I am visiting him too much. How do I keep our long distance relationship strong without visiting? Or is visiting every weekend too much?
Dear Brittany,
I’ve been in a long distance relationship before and trust me with all the stress of school, drama with friends and hating to go out because you can’t dance with any other guy sometimes sucks. When you find yourself dancing alone to “Ignition Remix,” you really start to miss your boyfriend which is why you find yourself always visiting, but visiting him every weekend can be excessive and doesn’t give him enough time to miss you if he already assumes you’ll be visiting each weekend. So save a little bit of gas money and try visiting every other weekend, or make plans to see each other on special holidays and anniversaries. I’ve learned that you have the next four years to go to happy hour with your best friends, four years to dance to Miley Cyrus’ Can’t Stop and four years to learn to time manage school and a social life. But four years also flies by! If you’ve already managed to survive months of long-distance then you can survive an extra week of not seeing each other. When you look back at college do you only want to remember the times you spent in another city that wasn’t your own? Or do you want to remember college as a place where you had the best boyfriend in the world and best friends as party animals?
My advice: when you do start to visit less, in the times you do visit your boyfriend make sure each time you surprise him. Maybe you show off your lingerie, maybe you try new moves in bed or maybe you cook him his favorite dinner (chicken marsala). Or if you do want to visit some weeks more than others, don’t tell him each time but surprise him! (I leave these surprises to you, if it were me I would totally be waiting for him with a Chipotle bowl, wine bottle, while wearing his favorite baggy t-shirt). After his business accounting exam, he’ll definitely be ecstatic to see you this way!
–Sharon Szmuc
For next week’s theme, First Dates, Sharon will be answering questions on everything you need to know about first dates, what to wear, how to act, where to go, what moves to make and whether the first date will lead to a second date.
Whatever the case may be, submit your questions to hercampusfsu1@gmail.com stating your first name, last name, first initial and age by midnight this Thursday, Feb. 11. If you would like to be published anonymously, we can do that as well. Just ask when you submit! The first three people to submit questions will receive a free beauty product, which may come in handy to seduce the guy you met at Coliseum last weekend! Remember, girls and guys are encouraged to send in questions, so stop swiping right and ask away!
*Names have been changed to protect identity.