*Her Campus FSU does not promote illegal behavior and encourages all students to make smart, healthy decisions. This article does not represent the views of Her Campus FSU.
Welcome to the latest in relationships, sex, love and dating. Introducing, “The Scoop with Szmuc” (Smook) and no, that’s not pronounced schmuck. Every week we are giving our readers an opportunity to send in their questions to Her Campus staff writer and relationship guru Sharon Szmuc relating to the theme of the week. This week, Sharon discusses how to keep the relationship fire stoked.
Now that Valentine’s season is over, most of you are probably cuffed, still single or trying to figure out how to continue to keep bae happy (since the lingerie from V-day wasn’t enough to keep that boner hard). But after dating your boyfriend for a year, all those sex positions start to get old. No worries, there are plenty of things one can do to spice up the relationship, and I am not talking about threesomes (do those really take place anyways?).
Photo by: Lauren Alsina
Emma S.,* 19
What are some fun date ideas for a long term couple when it seems like they’ve already done it all?
Dear Emma,
I am assuming you have been dating your S.O. for a while, which means that you probably have a favorite restaurant you always go to, Netflix and Chill every other day and most likely have already whipped out some sort of sexy nightgown. People often think that spicing up the relationship means using whipped cream and handcuffs in the bedroom. Though these are wonderful ways to add some spice, I think you can be more creative than that without feeling like you’re in 50 Shades of Grey. Sometimes going on cute dates or having a picnic in your apartment bedroom while listening to a playlist of his favorite artists is a fun way to get in the mood and not have to leave the bedroom. It allows you to revert from a romantic scene to a sexy downtime scene all in the matter of five feet.
Here are some fun date ideas: make a scavenger hunt and each place you visit has to be a memorable place, such as where you had your first kiss, where you had your first date, and even when you first told each other I love you. Every time he figures out the clues of the place give him a prize or some sort of coupon such as a “free massage” to use whenever he has a stressed day. Another personal favorite date of mine is to make a matching game, in which all cards are laid face down and a matching pair would be a question like “What’s my favorite drink?” and the answer he has to find is “Iced Vanilla lattes.” Make about 20 of these cards and test his knowledge of how well he knows you! As a way to truly spice up the relationship, lie in bed and cuddle but instead of just knocking out after small talk, grab your phone, turn to YouTube and search karaoke couple songs. Before you go to sleep, sing a karaoke song together. I personally recommend “No Air” by Jordin Sparks featuring Chris Brown (but, it’s always nice to karaoke to Grease’s “Summer Nights”).
–Sharon
Photo by: Lauren Alsina
Jen E.,* 21
I feel like I am starting to get bored of doing the same thing over and over again with my boyfriend. All we do is get dinner, come home to have sex for an hour and then we knock out. How do I break this routine?
Dear Jen,
Maybe next time just have sex before dinner to spice things up, just kidding! I have been through this before, as this tends to happen when the honeymoon phase is over and we become comfortable with our boyfriend. In order to spice up the relationship, you must first make the date different. If you always eat at the same exact places then the conversations will be about the same, “Oh yeah, the chicken marsala was great today,” is probably something you often hear. So try a new restaurant for a change, share appetizers and order two separate dishes that you can both share. This way you can at least start discussing at least spicing up your meal options. Once the dinner part is over, in the bedroom you must must must do something you have never done before. Role play a little, maybe pretend to be the student and he can be your professor. Instead of going straight into an intense make out session, tease him all over by kissing him on his ears and pretending you’re going to give him head but never do. Turn to articles on other sex positons, and try out crazy ones (and if you pull a muscle, then you now know what positions to avoid). Whatever you do, tell yourself that for once you won’t do missionary or doggy and try to do something new!
If none of my advice works, then try finding another guy who doesn’t bore you after twenty minutes of sex, just kidding! But, hey if these things don’t work, try to take a break from each other for a couple of days. Not seeing each other for two days will cause you to miss each other and, in general, the sex will feel ten times better since he had to finally wait for it. If none of this works, then maybe turn to the handcuffs and whipped cream but I would say that’s part of the emergency kit.
To everyone else, if these tips don’t work, I apologize. I’m not a sex therapist or anything, but these tips have been tested. What more do you want from me, anyways? (And, I hope it’s not a threesome).
–Sharon
*Names have been changed to protect identity.
For next week’s theme, “Virginity 101” Sharon will be answering questions on the topic everyone wants to know about, but no one wants to talk about. Submit your questions to hercampusfsu1@gmail.com stating your first name, last name first initial and your age by midnight this Thursday, March 3rd. If you would like to be published anonymously, we can do that as well. Just ask when you submit! The first three people to submit questions will receive a free beauty product, and, who knows, maybe you can use it for your next date. Remember, girls and guys are encouraged to send in questions so stop swiping right and ask away!