*Her Campus FSU does not promote illegal behavior and encourages all students to make smart, healthy decisions. This article does not represent the views of Her Campus FSU.
Welcome to the latest in relationships, sex, love and dating. Introducing, “The Scoop with Szmuc” (Smook) and no, that’s not pronounced schmuck. Every week we’re giving our readers an opportunity to send in their questions to Her Campus FSU staff writer and relationship guru Sharon Szmuc relating to the theme of the week. This week we will be discussing rejection – so like, how to kindly tell your Spanish tutor you’re not in love with him and only want to learn enough Spanish words to help you order drinks on your next cruise to Mexico. (You get the point.)
Sometimes men are clueless and think that studying means being DTF. Men think that just because you asked to borrow a pencil means you want their pencil inside you. No, we really just need a pencil for this multiple choice test. So boys, when a girl asks if you can explain some problems for her managerial accounting class, she only wants to be subtracting numbers with you, not clothes. Should we let you men know ahead of time that we aren’t interested?
Nicole E.,* 21
I started studying with a kid in my class after he asked me for the notes one day. After one study session he added me on all of my social media outlets and continues to text me randomly to hangout. All I wanted to do was get an A on my exam, but how do I let him down easy without making it awkward the rest of the semester?
Dear Nicole,
I know it’s annoying when you’re trying to get the A and they’re trying to give you the D, but you’re just not interested. I wish I could tell you that it won’t be awkward, but it probably will be since, clearly, this guy is super interested. However, there are many things you could do. For one, next time you decide to have a study session, invite someone else in the class or turn it into one big group session. This way it doesn’t feel like a date and you don’t have him breathing on you or creepily smelling your perfume. Second, when you do study make sure you sit at a table where the chairs are facing each other, that way he cannot sit close to you and possibly put his hand on your leg or something. It’s no big deal that he followed you on social media, if anything he probably just wants to get to know you more, plus more followers means more likes, so why complain? Don’t we always appreciate that last like that rounds off our Instagram likes from 69 to 70?
The very last thing you can do to show him you’re not interested is to be honest. Please do not invent a fake boyfriend because that’s lame and he will eventually realize after stalking your Instagram page that you are too single and love ladies’ nights out anyways, so that one doesn’t work. Now, hear me out on this one and I know it sounds absurd but compliment him by saying he’s a great tutor. By complimenting him first, this will let him down easy. If you’re not going to let him down easy, all you have to do at the next study session is start to ask about girls in his life and give him advice about how to land other girls. Then go on to say that you’ve been talking to some guy (this can be made up or true) or that at the current moment you are focused on school like trying to pass that class. We think that rejecting guys means straight up telling them to F*CK OFF, but rejecting a guy can be done with nobody getting hurt if you just tell them straight up that you appreciate his help, but that’s all you currently appreciate. If anything, tell him about a scenario where one time a guy tutored you and he wanted to date you and that’s why sometimes you hate studying with guys. Hopefully, he gets the hint and if he doesn’t then you can always go to the ACE tutoring lab on campus (as long as that tutor doesn’t find you adorable, too).
Julie S.,* 19
I’ve been studying with this guy and we hit it off. We went on two dates and I thought I liked him (we even kissed). I realized now, that I changed my mind. I am not really interested. How do I fix this?
Dear Julia,
On the bright side, you’re not that deep into this mess that it can’t be cleaned up. Good thing you didn’t get yourself too deep into this mess because, well, when that stuff happens in bed it is a burden to clean it up. Just because you went on two dates with this guy doesn’t mean you are committed to him. In fact, you could be going on dates with all three of your study buddies if you really are about it. If you really think he’s the best study buddy there is, then what you can continue to do is hangout and study at Starbucks or even at a pizza place to develop a friendly bond. Just because he was a bad kisser doesn’t mean he can’t land you an A in College Algebra. Just make sure that you don’t place yourself in scenarios where he can go in for the kiss.
Honesty is key. I said this before, but it’s true. How do we expect guys to figure out what’s on our minds? Why don’t we just straight up tell them? Tell him that the two dates were fun, but you don’t want dating getting in the way of school. Tell him he’s a cool guy, but that dating someone you see a lot can sometimes be weird if it doesn’t work out. Tell him what you’re thinking! Guys don’t even listen to the signs of a fortune cookie from their Chinese takeout. Guys actually appreciate the cold hard truth rather than these back and forth guessing games. Dating should not be like a game of Clue, but girls should be subtle enough that we give guys the main hint that we aren’t interested without having to directly say it. So Julia, don’t worry you’ll still get an A and if it becomes awkward just sit far away from him or arrive to class last minute to avoid small talk before class. (Who knows, maybe Jake, the guy on the other side of the lecture hall will be more interesting and a better kisser!)
*Names have been changed to protect identity.
For next week’s theme, “Breakups,” Sharon will be answering any and all questions about the topic we love to hate. Honestly, is there even a good way to breakup with someone? Whatever the case may be, submit your questions to hercampusfsu1@gmail.com stating your first name, last name, first initial and age by midnight this Thursday, March 17. If you would like to be published anonymously, we can do that as well. Just ask when you submit! The first three people to submit questions will receive a free beauty product. Remember, girls and guys are encouraged to send in questions so stop swiping right and ask away!