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A Procrastinator’s Unfortunate Series Of Events

So your professor spent half a class discussing the importance of your final paper and going over the three-page assignment prompt detailing everything he/she wants you to analyze, compare, contrast, discuss, interpret, resolve, etc. And of course he/she lists 15+ things that you will surely get points deducted for if you don’t do exactly what you’re told. If you use anything besides Times New Roman font you are royally screwed!

Meanwhile, you’re trying to decide if you want Chik-Fil-A or pizza for lunch. Whatever this person at the front of the room is rambling about is of no importance to you.

So you do what college students do best.

Until you look at your calendar and realize this is the week. That paper is due this week! And it’s worth how much of my grade?!

After you catch your breath you realize you are okay. Your warrior spirit comes out and you know it’s time to get to work.

You sit down expecting pure scholarly genius to flow out of that head of yours and onto that paper or computer in front of you. Shockingly, nothing’s coming to you.

You dedicate a solid 10 minutes to coming up with an introduction and ultimately write one sentence. All of that hard work deserves a break. Plus, you need to fuel that super brain of yours.

That quick break probably turned into a three hour break because let’s face it, you had to watch the new episode of your favorite show, your roommates needed you to go with them to get ice cream, and then you were exhausted and compelled to take a nap. But it’s okay cause you’re back and filled with brilliant ideas. You sit down and hit your stride. At every stroke of the keyboard you’re pumping out Nobel Prize-worthy thoughts.

You’ve written almost the entire paper. Yay! You take another break or wait until the next day to write a beautiful conclusion. When you come back you realize you’ve got nothing. You’ve hit the dreaded writers block. Feelings of confusion, disappointment, and hopelessness sweep over you.

After you take a quick dance break or snack break (or both) to liven your spirits you come back and finish that paper!

You are beyond thrilled. You think you finally know what it means to feel true joy until you look at the prompt again and see it…. the word requirement. You’re short so you get back to writing.

NOW. NOW YOU ARE DONE! Congratulations! You crushed that paper, bound to be offered a book deal or atleast an A in the class. Way to go! Go on and take that victory trip to Target and know that you are the winner of the war against the final paper.

Now stop daydreaming about Ryan Gosling, reading this article, and go write those final papers. Kick finals week’s butt! 

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