“You look really great today!”
How many times have you received a genuine compliment like this from someone, and instead of graciously accepting it, bat it away by saying something along the lines of, “Oh no, my hair’s a rat’s nest,” or “Are you kidding? I look like a homeless pirate.” I don’t know when it happened, but somewhere along the line, us girls got it in our heads that accepting a compliment is the same as bragging. And nobody wants to end up in Cady Heron’s position.
But while many of us strive to be modest—i.e. not flaunting ourselves or excessively talking ourselves up—we often end up putting ourselves down in the process. Over time, by constantly declining compliments we really start to believe what we’re saying, and begin to think less of the compliments we do get. By outwardly rejecting praise or admiration from others, we begin to inwardly reject it as well.
Honestly, think of the last time you’ve given someone else a compliment. Did you look at them and think, “that dress literally makes her look like the Geico gecko” and then proceed to tell her how much you love her dress? No! Aside from Regina George, people only give compliments when they truly mean them.
At think point you may be thinking, “but Sydney, I’ve been rejecting compliments for so long that I’m not sure I know how to accept them any more!” Well I’ve covered all my bases here, and I’m going to let you in on a few of my favorite responses that you can use any time that you receive praise or compliments:
- Hug them for at least one minute. Make sure you don’t let go, even if they start squirming.
- Immediately start sobbing. The uglier and more uncontrollable, the better.
- Start serenading them with “Thank You” by Dido. The lyrics don’t really apply to this situation, but hopefully they’ll get the gist from the title of the song.
- Take off whatever article was complimented and give it to them.
- Say “Okay,” and walk away. It doesn’t matter if you were finished with your conversation or not. Just walk away.
- Do the “Carlton” from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
I guarantee these are the most effective ways of showing someone appreciation. I’ve never tried any of them, but I guarantee it.**
On a more serious note, what I’m trying to get at here is that you should accept when people tell you nice things. Accept it out loud, accept it in your head, accept it, accept it, accept it! You are a beautiful, smart, talented woman and you deserve to be told, and you deserve to believe it!
Thanks, Beyoncé.
**Disclaimer: Sydney and Her Campus FSU are not liable for any public humiliation, deterioration of relationships, or loss of limbs that may result from following the advice points numbered 1-6. Proceed with caution and have a lovely day.