There’s no other explanation: the weather is not cold as it was this time last year. Halloween snuck up on us, and in-between all that we’re more than halfway through the semester. The October Scaries are here.
Let’s first give us some grace here, this is half of the undergraduates’ first time having full-fledged in-person classes, and that transition is more than difficult. The other juniors only had fall semester their first year in college. And the seniors, while getting a full year their first one, missed out with zoom university for the second and third. It hasn’t exactly been what we all envisioned. It’s right around this time that the long-term thoughts start setting in: “What classes do I have to take next semester?”, “Where am I going to live next year?” and “What am I going to do after I graduate?”.
It’s terrifying having to figure this all out a year in advance.
Part of me believes the Scaries aren’t even the events that are surrounding the chaos, but the rut that the chaos leaves with anxiety or a rollercoaster of emotions. We’ve become very attached to the routine we have built, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, living that routine to a tee leaves out the best part of life, the spontaneity and the adventure of life.
Take the time to self-reflect and ask yourself what exactly is making you stressed or making your emotions feel unmanageable. Taking that extra time for yourself will pay off. While boundaries with your friends are important, setting boundaries will yourself is okay too. How you treat yourself right now is how you’re prepping to treat yourself when college is over. Don’t let yourself get burned out by graduation. Learn yourself and know when it is time to say no.
If it’s a friend, understand that that friend will still be your friend, even if you have to study instead of going to dinner one night. And if they don’t, would you really want a friend that leaves you for prioritizing your success?
If it’s a boy or a potential relationship of any sort, there was you before them, and there will still be you after them. They were only meant to be an addition to your life, not complete it. I know you wanted it to work, but if they’ve made their intentions clear, respect that and respect yourself, then walk away.
If it’s school, it’s okay to fail sometimes. Step back, reevaluate if this major is truly what you want to do. And if it is, start thinking of things that might have to be put on the back burner to know school is not suffering. But if it’s not the right major, college is really for figuring it out. Take a deep breath, you have more time than you think.
When was the last time you did something for the first time?
If your answer is more than 6 months ago, bestie I hate to tell you this… All jokes aside, you might be in a rut. Do something fun, something different and exciting. That could either be through a new book, going with some friends on a day trip, listening to a new podcast, getting a (responsible) piercing or tattoo. Change is good, it’s different. Cultivating new skills and talents is commemorable. It’s a really great icebreaker when meeting new people.
After all, they’re called Scaries for a reason, right? Growing up is not easy. It doesn’t even feel like it, because it’s all moving so fast, right? You do have time. Time to figure it out, and take it step by step. Or mess it up and figure it out. Don’t feel pressure to live a certain “college experience,” life doesn’t end when you have a degree in your hand. Do something different, pick a day by yourself or with a friend. Take the time to learn a new skill, try a new coffee order or go on book TikTok. It might help you when you’re feeling overwhelmed. In case no one has told you today, you’re doing great and it will be okay.
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