Starting a romantic relationship in your teen years can be a scary experience, especially now with social media and phone tracking. When my boyfriend and I started dating in my junior year of high school, I knew we would have a long road of judgment and distance ahead of us. We endured seven months of long-distance starting less than a year into our relationship, with small bouts in between, as we navigated through our college experience. It’s often said that distance makes the heart grow fonder, so here are some methods that have worked to keep my relationship happy, healthy and romantic:
Not Tracking Each Other’s Phones
After seeing the issues that tracking your partner’s phone has caused some of my friends, I’ve decided to avoid that route. My boyfriend and I have never had each other’s location past Snapchat Maps. I use the Snapchat Maps to see if he’s home for me to FaceTime him, but I never use it in excess or as a means to keep an eye on him. Otherwise, I’d probably drive myself crazy by wondering where he is, what he’s doing or who he’s with.
Meeting Each Other’s Friends
While it may be intimidating meeting my boyfriend’s friends, it has allowed me to recognize that they are more similar to me than I previously believed. Many of them who aren’t in relationships have something in common with my boyfriend, such as a class or a club. At the same time, my boyfriend has met my friends and realized that they don’t pose any type of threat to our relationship.
Not Expecting an Immediate Response
As college students, my boyfriend and I are busy for most of the day during the week. Between clubs, studying, classes and seeing our friends, we aren’t always checking our phones. Instead of jumping to the worst conclusion, I think more logically about what could be happening. When I think he’s ignoring me, I remember to tell myself that he might just be too busy to respond to my call or text.
Discussing Social Media Use
My boyfriend and I both enjoy browsing through several social media apps, but it doesn’t change the fact that I can sometimes feel ignored. In my experience, being open with one another about our social media usage and habits has been a major key to the success of our relationship. Rather than dismissing any feelings of emptiness that we may experience, I’ve realized that we must attempt to communicate our feelings with each other first. Also, liking and commenting funny things on people’s online posts is just par for the course: the whole purpose of having social media. It doesn’t mean either of us has feelings for these people, as long as those comments are appropriate. Overall, discussing boundaries has been a great help in ensuring that we are both comfortable.
Not Arguing Over Text Messages
I’ve been told that my personality has always been a bit fiery. Sometimes, I shoot off a text without thinking rationally about the situation. I’ve found that my boyfriend and I are able to resolve issues much more efficiently and calmly over a phone call, rather than over text messages. Text messaging just continues a never-ending cycle of us arguing over the same issues without ever coming up with a solution. In the end, both of our feelings end up being hurt. Talking our issues out over the phone has highlighted the significance of communication in our relationship.
Remembering to Trust Each Other
Lastly, having trust in one another has allowed me and my boyfriend to keep our relationship healthy throughout college. It is important for me to remember that my boyfriend cares deeply about me, just as I do for him. I would never purposefully do something to violate his trust, so why should he? He’s never given me a reason to not trust him and vice versa.
These are just a few methods that have been the most successful for my boyfriend and I while dating in college, as well as dealing with some long distance. We have been together for over four years now and have many exciting years ahead of us.
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