As my sophomore year of college comes to a close and I approach my twenties, all I can think about is how quickly time is moving. Even as a freshman, I could feel the bittersweetness of moments I knew that I would miss as I was living them. I was reminded by everyone that these are supposed to be the best four years of my life. I put so much pressure on myself to love this period of life because what comes after is totally unknown, and I hate not knowing. I realized that this feeling of uncertainty surrounding what comes next is extremely similar to what I felt at the age of 17, as I was graduating high school and applying to colleges. I am living the life that my high school self always wondered and worried about, and I wanted to take the opportunity to tell her some of the things I’ve learned in two short years.
1. You are going to love your school
Walking down Jefferson Street on a spring morning when the flowers start to bloom will be one of your favorite ways to start your day. You’ll frequent Sweet Shop enough for the owner to know your name and your order by heart. The possibility of crossing paths with a campus cat will make all of your dreadful trips to HCB more exciting. You’ll watch your younger brother fall in love with Florida State during his first football game. Curating outfits for game days and coordinating tailgate plans with your friends will make you eagerly anticipate Saturdays. You’ll have so much love for a school that you swore you’d never attend, and you’ll wonder why you ever wanted to go anywhere else.
2. You don’t need a lot of friends
You’ve always thrived in a smaller group, and in college, it’ll be no different. You are going to hit the roommate lottery after going completely random your freshman year. They are going to be the ones ready to hug you after you get your heart broken (spoiler alert) and remind you of your worth outside of a relationship. You’ll feel seen and important and learn how to be a better friend, all because of six girls. College is so much more enjoyable when you surround yourself with a few great people who celebrate each other.
3. Relationships are supposed to make you feel good
You’re going to have the unique experience of being in two different long-distance relationships, which is a style of dating you’ll grow to love. Your heart will get shattered on a random Thursday in February, but you’ll discover how much more awesome college is when you’re not crying over a boy every week. Later, you’ll end up with someone unexpected who doesn’t crave toxicity and never makes you worry, and you’ll feel cherished instead of tolerated. You’ll obtain a refreshing sense of security which you’ll expect from then on.
4. your worth is not based on a grade
You’ll spend the majority of the 2022 school year hunched over flashcards and anatomical diagrams. All the hours you’ll spend in Sweet Shop memorizing microorganisms and diseases will prove that you’re actually really good at studying, and you’ll be proud of the grades you earn. The few fleeting seconds of academic validation you’ll receive when you open the Canvas app after an exam will feel great, yet you’ll still feel like you’re not doing enough. Fulfillment will come only when you learn how to stop obsessing over studying. When you finally allow yourself to dedicate time to self-exploration instead of school, you’ll find happiness in new friends, a new job, a new club, and a new major.
5. You will never regret making time for therapy sessions
Being consistent about emotional wellness is difficult, but the progress and changes you’ll experience are going to shape your future in beautiful ways. Your therapist will guide you through some of the worst seasons of life and she’ll be incredibly sure of your ability to recover. Her unwavering confidence in you will strengthen your self-confidence and you’ll feel revitalized. You’re going to want to learn how to be that breath of fresh air for someone else and pursue an academic career in psychology. Therapy will teach you how to reconstruct your perspectives on life and help you create much healthier habits.
The inability to control and foresee every aspect of my future sometimes drives me crazy, but writing to my younger self reminded me that there is so much good that comes with the unknown. As I kiss my teenage years goodbye, I can finally look forward to what’s next.
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