Up until last year, I did not understand anxiety. Knowing what I know now, I hate to admit that I was the person who thought, “What are you anxious about? Just don’t worry about what you can’t control.” Oh, how things have changed. Ignorance is bliss, but I am happy that I have a better understanding and empathy for the people around me that may also be struggling. I started to understand mental health much better when my life took a turn for the worse last year. I had personal issue after personal issue to the point where I was incredibly overwhelmed.
It started to be that every morning I would wake up with my heart racing, hands sweaty and in a state of panic. This was when I began to realize that I was experiencing symptoms of anxiety. I had no idea what to do as I had never experienced this before, and trust me, it’s not fun. Since I was unsure how to handle my new mental state, it ran my life for a long time. The only thing that I knew was if I sat there and breathed for a while, it would eventually go away. Over time I dug myself out of a dark headspace, and today I can confidently say that I experience very little anxiety, if any. It definitely comes back when I least expect it, but it is much less frequent than before. Anxiety is not something that just goes away, but it is something that can be managed. Here is how I managed mine.
The first thing that I did that helped me tremendously was to start writing poetry. Now, this is not for everyone, but I attribute much of my healing to poetry. I have tried to journal before, and it was just never a great fit for me, but I love poetry because you can have so much meaning behind one line without having to write everything. I also love that it is subjective, so what you read may not mean the same thing to someone else. To this day, whenever I am going through something difficult, I make it a point to sit down and work through it with poetry.
Another thing that I did was get myself on a strict gym schedule. Going from not working out was tough, and I definitely skipped some days, but it was worth it. Going to the gym has been scientifically proven to release endorphins. It is also a great outlet to get out any extra energy. Starting a gym routine is tough, but the best way to get into it is to start small and know your limitations.
The most beneficial thing that I did for myself was to put myself on a loose schedule every day. Especially with classes being online last year, my life was missing structure. I would wake up every day and just go back to bed. I realized that a lot of my anxiety came from not knowing what would happen in a day. It calmed my mind a lot to know what was coming next for the rest of the day. Also, getting up and getting dressed to go is a great way to make you feel good about yourself first thing in the morning.
The most challenging thing that I knew I had to do was to learn to be alone. My anxiety caused me to have a tough time being by myself. Anytime I was alone, it felt like my thoughts were attacking me, or I would get FOMO from something that someone else was doing. Slowly but surely, I faced being alone more and more every day. Over time it got easier, and now I value my alone time almost more than I value time with people, and I make sure I get enough of it each day.
The most important thing to remember is that mental health looks different for everyone. People may share similar symptoms, but it affects everyone’s life very differently. What works for me may not work for you, but never stop trying to find what works for you. Also, even if you don’t feel like you are making progress, any progress is great progress. Healing isn’t linear, and we all have some stuff we need to face. Mental health issues are more common than you might think, so remember that you are never alone.
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