The phrase “How are you?” is often our go-to greeting that immediately follows a traditional “Hello.” However, it has increasingly become almost robotic to respond with the default phrase “I’m good, and you?”, a phrase said without any real meaning behind it. Once upon a time, the phrase “How are you?” was used to signify a genuine inquiry into someone’s day or well-being.
The fact of the matter is, we have become experts at bottling up our emotions and putting on a facade, even when we are not okay. There is this pressure to hide our struggles and maintain that positive image of ourselves despite not feeling our best. Is it necessary? Would it not be easier to let go of that mindset and simply be honest about our feelings and emotions?
It’s okay. It is okay to not be okay. Life is not easy. As a university student with school obligations, wanting to get involved in different clubs and organizations while having personal turmoil is not fun. And it does not have to be. We all face challenges at some point in our lives. We all have or will encounter pain and sorrow as human beings. But acknowledging the darker side of life is not meant to be a pessimistic act, but rather one that recognizes that inevitable difficult reality we all take part in. In accepting that truth, perhaps we can feel less alone through the honest depiction of our struggles.
Personally, I know how difficult it can be to not be okay. For the past year, I have struggled with my own challenges, and it has been an incredibly tough journey. Some days, I would feel like my body is freezing from the inside out and even in the summer months, I needed to wear warm clothes just to stop shivering. There are days when I feel disconnected from the world around me, yet I keep moving even at those times when it feels like everything is falling apart.
Despite the tough times, I keep trying. Nothing stays the same forever even if it feels like it right now. I hold on to the promise that someday I’ll feel okay again. Because it is okay to not be okay right now. Be kind to yourself. I had to learn that lesson. We all have these expectations of ourselves, what we want to achieve and accomplish, and it gets frustrating. In those tough times, grace toward ourselves is needed the most.
The phrase “How are you” is a unique phrase; however, it is one that has been gradually losing its meaning. “How are you” is a simple way to show care for not only a person but also their well-being.
But “How are you?” needs to be more than just a simple courtesy. We need to create spaces where these open conversations about our struggles can happen to increase this vulnerability between ourselves. Even if only one person takes this initiative, we as a people can start to feel less alone and isolated. To empower ourselves to overcome our challenges. To build that community of support.
Oftentimes it can appear that we don’t need anyone, but humans were never intended to be solitary beings, so why should we start now?
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