Every diehard Swiftie knows that Taylor is the ultimate heartbreak queen. But if I hear one more person say they swear “All Too Well” is their late-night crying song, I’m going to lose it. With breakup season already in our midst, I have made it my mission to analyze each Taylor album in search of the best breakup songs that make me scream-cry into my pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream.
As a writer myself, it is an instinct for me to go beyond just listening to Taylor’s music but to genuinely appreciate the intentional word choice and purpose she crafts into every piece. These songs have honestly been so promising during my own recent breakup. After doing thorough research, four songs, all from sister albums Folklore and Evermore, are arguably her most raw, emotional songs yet. They are full of rich imagery, symbolism and such elusive narratives that make my heart crumble once I took the time to truly read the lyrics.
“tolerate it”
Ever felt like you weren’t receiving the effort you put in? Taylor knows our pain. The chorus literally crushes me every time.
“I wait by the door like I’m just a kid
Use my best colors for your portrait
Lay the table with the fancy sh*t
And watch you tolerate it.”
Resentment is one of the worst feelings in the world. I would say it’s even worse than disappointment. But that’s what makes this song so powerful post-breakup: it is meant for reflection. It allows me to think about every time I defended my ex and made excuses for him when he didn’t step up. I was reminded of every time I sat in my room crying and doubting myself and our relationship, just waiting for constant reassurance that never lasted more than a few days. Most importantly, it taught me something I always overlooked in any relationship: Never settle for less, settle for what you want and deserve.
“mirrorball”
Again, this song follows this theme of giving and giving and not receiving in return. It is utterly exhausting and quite literally drives a person to madness and obsessivity, which Taylor so effortlessly points to.
“And they called off the circus, burned the disco down
When they sent home the horses and the rodeo clowns
I’m still on that tightrope
I’m still tryin’ everything to get you laughing at me.”
This beautiful allusion to a circus scene is much more than a metaphor for the tragedies of an unstable relationship but is a deep internal conflict that many girls face in times of insecurity. In other words, despite making herself look like a literal fool or a circus freak, she continues to desperately hold on to anything she can get from him, even if it is just a mocking laugh. She does this because of how much she loves him. Being a “mirrorball” represents something so radiant, so illustrious and yet so fragile. It is an object of beauty that shines and reflects, which always reminds me of how easy it is to hide negative feelings and refrain from projecting my wants and needs to avoid conflict. This is a lesson that must be learned in any platonic or romantic relationship.
“cardigan”
This song fully transports me into another universe. It’s a teenage romance-type of story, one full of love, amusement and ease, but also of torment, doubt and struggle. From beginning to end, this song leaves me feeling both regret and nostalgia. Everyone wants to feel loved, truly and fully. Yet, all good things must come to an end, which is a common theme in most of Taylor’s songs. There is one lyric, though, that hits unlike any other.
“You drew stars around my scars
But now I’m bleeding.”
If I ever got a tattoo, it would be this lyric and this lyric only. To me, love is everchanging. We believe love for what it is to be at each stage of our lives. This truth is why “right person, wrong time” happens so often. We are all at different stages, especially when young and in love. It can go from butterflies to heartache in a matter of seconds, minutes or days.
“my tears ricochet”
This last song retells the story of the classic breakup song. The innocence and joy drained from an unsuspecting girl left heartbroken and confused, with millions of questions unanswered. It reminds me of a closure I still so desperately want and never received. As much as I hate it, it leaves me with a little hope and a little anger that the person I love and want most in this world will continue to haunt me. They will continue to be a main character in my life, who may or may not ever want me back. Not only that but the ingenious reference to a funeral explains what it’s like to be heartbroken. You feel as though you aren’t alive and are simply living each day against your will. You know it’s good for you, even though it feels so wrong.
“We gather here, we line up
Weepin’ in a sunlit room, and
If I’m on fire, you’ll be made of ashes too
Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe
All the hell you gave me?
‘Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you
‘Til my dying day.”
At the end of the day, breakups suck. The phrase, “It will get better,” is possibly the worst comment to ever exist. Early on, it doesn’t feel that way at all. There are countless ups and downs, with good days and bad days ahead. As cheesy as it may sound, Taylor’s music has been my life raft, an avenue for me to feel my emotions and cope with them, despite how difficult it may be. I never want anyone to feel this way, to feel the pain I have felt the past few weeks, but that is a naïve wish. I don’t have all the answers (I wish I did), but I do know that Taylor’s music has been more helpful than anything else so far.
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