Sometimes when we want new things, relationships, lifestyles, or even a new house, we oftentimes need to change or evolve ourselves in some form, shape, or manner. Usually, when we want these new things, we try to shape ourselves along with it, and sometimes it is a successful transition. However, we can get so overwhelmed and scared of change, for fear that we may not like these new things we hope will make us happy. I know. It is a hectic process trying to evolve, change our bad habits, become the “better versions” of ourselves all while trying to achieve these new things. But it does not have to be like this.
We are all programmed to change and become new and improved individuals as we go on with our daily lives, to adapt to our environment and the circumstances that come along with it. And honestly, we don’t even notice ourselves changing, we just go along with it unconsciously! That is until one of your loved ones starts to tell you during Thanksgiving dinner, “Dang Maddie, you’ve changed a lot since last December,” and now you are forced to think about how you have “changed.”
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Trust me, I know exactly what you are thinking and going through right now. Just a couple of months ago, actually no, about a year ago, my whole life practically made a full 180-degree turn. Was it worth it? Definitely. And here’s why:
In the past year, I not only experienced the bliss of getting over my anxiety and depression but I also learned how to truly love myself the way I am supposed to in the process. It opened my eyes and allowed me to see what I value most and what I was willing to do to change for the better, to get better. I also experienced the challenge of letting go of people that were not meant to be in my life anymore. Did it hurt having to cut them off? A million times, YES. I wanted to keep so many people in my life because of all the memories and the bond I had with them but I also wanted to see myself get better. I knew what I needed to do to finally acquire the peace and tranquility my soul desired and needed at the time. I was forced to quit the bad habits I had developed so that I was able to truly surround myself with people that genuinely cared for me and my well-being.
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In other words, I had to cut the grass so I can see the snakes and let them loose. This past year I also got into my dream college that I currently attend. Going here meant that I had to move seven hours away from home, live with a stranger, face new challenges on my own, and learn how to be independent. Not only did this push me to grow up and be a more responsible young adult but it allowed me to stop procrastinating. I have learned how to live with other people efficiently and organize my priorities. Yes, it was such an uncomfortable experience at first, having to live on my own, be in a completely new environment where I knew no one at all, but it was worth it. In the process of it all, I met some of the most genuine and amazing people I now call my friends and some of them have turned into family as well. It is through this big move as I started a new chapter in my life that has helped me evolve into the person I need to be.
This past year has been nothing but change in every single aspect of my life. Change in houses, change in friends, change schools, even a change in attitudes! And honestly, I’m glad for these changes, even though I was scared and panicked (hello anxiety!). Going through what I went through this past year opened up my eyes and taught me new lessons I needed to learn. It shaped me into who I am today, and for that, I will always be grateful.