I’ve always been a strong proponent of the thought that if someone wants to leave, you should let them go. Don’t beg for your crush to stay if they are willing to withdraw because it is usually due to the lack of maturity they possess. But what happens when you let them go and they decide they want to hold on just a little bit, and enough to keep you emotionally invested ?
In this age of ghosting, this specific tactic is known as “orbiting.” Orbiting occurs when said ghoster cuts off direct communication but remains on your socials. If you have been wondering why your Tinder date never texted you back but remains one of the first people to like your photos and view your stories, congratulations! You are being orbited.
Orbiting is exactly how it sounds. The party that cut ties (typically without an explanation) is trying to keep you in their orbit.
The fact of the matter is, they may have liked you enough to admire your life and you as a person but not enough to stay in communication. This honestly stings a little more than an unadd or an unfollow. Because it more than likely leaves the ghostee confused: it is the ultimate mixed signal.
Orbiting is probably most typical in our era with online dating apps. Our options are endless with platforms like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge. Because of this accessibility to what I like to call “halfway human intimacy,” many people are fond of the idea of not limiting themselves and keeping all of their possible options open. This is what makes this type of intimacy so halfway. Our attention is always being slightly grasped by the next match or message. In return, commitment is a rare find these days.
Orbiting will honestly leave you wishing they had just ripped the band-aid off and ghosted you completely. This is what makes it more difficult to move on. The message is clean-cut when your love interest starts replying with one-word answers, and eventually not at all. However, when they are still replying to your stories or liking photos/Tweets, their image remains untainted in your mind. On their part, orbiting can be an emotionally manipulative tactic or a friendly gesture. Is it more awkward to see the person you hurt with no explanation or the person you hurt but still give an Instagram like to from time to time?
Either way, there could be several reasons you are being orbited. The person who ghosted you is either technologically inept or suffering from a fear of missing out on an amazing person. Whatever the cause behind the ghoster’s actions, don’t wait around. Ultimately, the person worth your time and worth pursuing will respect you enough to give you an explanation as to why they aren’t cuffing you or will see your worth enough to know they are missing out if they let you go. Don’t get caught up in halfway human intimacy.
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