This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at FSU chapter.

It’s the middle of the first semester of my freshman year at college, and I’m missing the days of no responsibilities, home-cooked meals, and the familiarity of old friends and family more than ever. In truth, I miss my childhood. It wasn’t anything extraordinary compared to anyone else’s – but it was so full, chaotic, and marked by friendships that I am so grateful to say are still such a big part of my life today. October was a particularly difficult month for me this year because my family and our friends always used to take an annual fall trip up to the mountains in Georgia, where some of my favorite memories were made and those relationships that are so dear to me grew their roots. All of us have grown and are off at our respective schools, and the days of fall festivities feel like they’re long gone. In the spirit of missing you, appreciating you, letting you know that I can’t do life without you, and am only fumbling my way through this season because of you – this is an open letter to my lifelong friends.

When I graduated high school, I wasn’t worried about growing apart from or losing touch with any of you. I’ve never gone to the same school as any of you, and yet you’ve always been some of my best and most faithful friends. One of you graduated and moved away a while ago, and I still know the nitty-gritty details of your life, like how you broke another one of the cups you were so excited about last week. One of you were in my grade, some of my classes, and apart from that we vacationed together – we weren’t always the best of friends and lived life independent of each other for years at a time, but when it comes down to it, you remind me of home and you are one of the people I most look forward to hearing from every day since we’ve moved. I am grateful that our friendships have already weathered change and distance and that through those times I never felt them waver. In a season where it feels like nothing is certain, I can’t get my bearings, and I know no one and no one knows me – it is the greatest comfort to know that it will take a lot more than starting college for anything to happen to the relationships that have been there my whole life.

At such a large university, I’ve found it difficult to make friendships that feel like or even resemble what I have with you guys. Being as we literally grew up together, I can’t recall how or when we moved from a surface level relationship to more, and I long for emotional connection on this campus like I have with you. I never imagined that starting over would be this difficult and sometimes the weight of it all puts me in a funk. I worry that I’ll never know friendship like yours again in my life. It dawned on me that that’s a real possibility. How could I expect my friendships here to compare to yours when they weren’t around for my first loose tooth, puberty, summer camp, Disney days, and of course, the legendary fall trips? I’m putting an absurd amount of pressure on my peers if I’m expecting emotional connection equivalent to that of friends that I got my first period with. No one here will ever be you, which I’m only just realizing is completely okay. The friends I make in this season and throughout these next four years and – if I’m lucky – long after that, will be exactly who I need and will most likely get open letters of their own someday. They’ll be a part of my life in ways you couldn’t be, just as you are in a way they can’t be. Lonely as I’ve been these past few months, I’m grateful to have the best people to miss and reach out to when I’m feeling low. Know that you’ve set the standard for friendship so incredibly high in my mind and that when the new friends do come, you are some of the first people I’ll want to introduce them to and tell them all about.

It is one of my greatest joys to sit back and watch as your respective stories unfold. I know that we used to make our plans to attend the same colleges, live together, and move away to the same places as life happened, but it was all a lot simpler when discussed at 10 years old over a McDonald’s Happy Meal in the back seat of my family’s old Honda. I love that each of you have goals and passions and dreams that you followed. In following them you’re now spread out as far as California, my university’s rival school, and the beautiful beaches of West Palm. But I know that you’re all in hot pursuit of what you were made to do, so I will deal with the distance and encourage you to go further if need be (however I selfishly hope that won’t be the case). Thank you in advance for the ways in which you will change the world. Thank you – that as you meet the people that will become your people in this season of life, you don’t forget me. Thank you for sending me photos of our coordinated Halloween costumes from middle school. Thank you for the cringe-worthy yet beloved Snapchat memories from over the years that I have to look back on. Thank you for consulting me about a tattoo you’re thinking about getting. Thank you for being some of the greatest friends I have ever known and thank you that I’ve never had to know life without you in it.

In conclusion, if it wasn’t already obvious by how often I contact you or post throwback photos with you in them, I’m missing you guys more than I can say. I’m missing my childhood and the sweet friends who have been in my life since. I challenge you, that if you are like me and find yourself mourning the familiar in this season, shift your focus and practice being thankful for what was. And in my case, for what still is (just with some distance), and always will be.

Love, Addy