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Sex + Relationships

Love Languages: The Key To Long-Term Relationships

As my boyfriend and I approach our fourth anniversary, I’ve taken time to analyze how we’ve gotten this far. We’ve been together for the entirety of high school, into college and even through this pandemic. Relationships aren’t easy—especially in college. They bring fun and happiness into one’s life, but also plenty of troubles and obstacles. Luckily, everyone already has something that can help make navigating relationships a little easier: a love language!


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Your love language is how you express love to others and how you want others to express love to you. It doesn’t have to be exclusively romantic, but it mainly targets romantic couples. There are five love languages: words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, receiving gifts and acts of service.

The first love language, words of affirmation, focuses on complimenting and using verbal assurances to show love. It’s so versatile: you can do it through texts, cards and even phone calls! The second love language is physical touch, in which one uses physical affection to give their love. Holding hands or non-romantic gestures like high-fives are a great example. Next, quality time focuses on spending one-on-one time with a loved one—it works best for people who prefer doing hobbies together or just spending undivided time together. The love language of receiving gifts is relatively self-explanatory; one feels loved when they receive gifts. Lastly, acts of service show love through doing small helpful acts for someone. This love language is as simple as holding a door open or doing a chore for your partner. Although the love languages are all relatively self-explanatory, there’s much more that goes into each of them.


Girls on bench in front of ferris wheel
Photo by Karina Carvalho on Unsplash

My boyfriend and I decided to take the test after seeing it all over TikTok. Many couples expressed their happiness with the test, claiming that they improved their relationship after learning their results. After taking the test, I felt the same way! My boyfriend’s result was physical touch—and it made so much sense. He always greets me with a hug, sits shoulder-to-shoulder next to me and loves to hold hands. My love language turned out to be quality time because I value spending time with my loved ones. My boyfriend and I made an effort to try to use each other’s love languages when expressing love. Each time I saw him, I would greet him with a hug. He would invite me over to spend time with him and do cute activities like making dinner together.

Since learning our love languages, our relationship felt even more fulfilling. Intentional gestures have helped us keep our long-term relationship exciting! Knowing your partner’s love language can allow you to improve a relationship drastically. Communication is vital, and love languages provide a new form of communication that cater to your partner. This Valentine’s Day, make sure to take the love language test. It is also a great way to learn about yourself and what you need in a relationship if you are single. If you are in a relationship, it can be a fantastic thing to incorporate into your daily life!

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Erin McEwan is a freshman majoring in Environmental Science who loves cats, soccer, and all things science. Go Noles!
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