Hey guys,
I’m writing this letter for a lot of reasons. For one, I think I need to get it all out of my system. For years I’ve taken my ideas to written letters, although they’ve always been a sort of private affair between my thoughts and myself. I guess it is sort of like that cheesy movie, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, just without the love letters. My years of letter writing have been about everything, making it probably more of a journal.
Either way, with things going as they have, I have the urge to write a letter again.
So, to my friends, I won’t name you all because this year I’ve gained a lot of you, but this is for you.
This school year in and of itself has been a total whirlwind, and after looking through the memories of it I realize now it feels both like eons of a lifetime as well as the snap of fingers only seconds fleeting. I’ve found new things to love and do through each of your guiding hands and not only be able to watch myself grow but you all as well.
Our year is ending, unlike anything we all had planned. All of our events, birthdays, graduations and trips have been canceled in light of the events happening. While we all feel the sadness of it weighing heavy on our shoulders, I think it’s important to remember how much we’ve grown and how the events have shaped us.
In your influences towards me, I can see exactly where I’ve managed to build myself up. Where my lack of body confidence kept me back from trying new things in fear of being the ‘fat girl’ but you’ve been encouraging, and helpful every step of the way as I regained confidence in trying out the new. I’ve begun to quiet down the anxieties that always used to rear up when I wanted to expand my horizons, and for that, I am ever so grateful.
I have cultivated an excitement for it even. I’m eager with every step I take to try out new ideas that might bring me similar joy that I’m learning to crave. Rock climbing, camping, concerts, new recipes and above all learning to speak my mind. So, thank you for letting me be comfortable to just be me because it has been a long journey it getting myself to even start the road and I know there are miles to go still.
Where I used to worry about every word that could be said about me, I’ve learned to just let them talk. You’ve all helped me to ignore the trepidation that comes with looking ‘stupid’. You’re not always going to know how to do something and more so how to do it well your first time, so looking stupid is going to happen.
So, thank you again, for the memories of singing like idiots in the kitchen, of long winding roads up the mountain and thank you for the little ways that you all have helped to shape me into a better person.
Love,
Cali
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