Growing up I always noticed that my friends seemed to experience a lot of things before me. Whether this is going on a first date, having their first kiss and overall developing their love life way faster than I ever could. I never was too bothered by it until it seemed like practically everyone around me was in on this whole dating thing that I had been left out of.
I always dreaded the usual sleepover games of “Never Have I Ever” or “Truth or Dare” because it would force me to decide if I would have to lie about how far I’ve gone or just be honest and potentially face being seen as the loser of the friend group.
Courtesy: videohive
It might seem nearly impossible to find someone who isn’t always going on dates or someone who hasn’t gotten their first kiss just yet, especially in college. But trust me, you’re not alone, I know how you feel. You think you’re the outcast, you’re someone who has no hope of ever finding someone like many of your friends already have. But I’m here to tell you that everything you’re feeling is normal, yet so far from the truth.
In life, we often have the mindset of reaching certain milestones at certain times. These milestones can be innocent things like riding our first bike or going to our first dance and as we grow older may be getting asked out by that really cute boy who sits next to you in chemistry and finally experiencing your first love. While this seems like the perfect plot for the ultimate high school rom-com, it just isn’t a reality, and that’s something a lot of us have to face.
Most importantly, you’re not alone. I know, I know you’ve heard it all before, but it’s true! There are plenty of people who feel like they lack experience in the world of relationships that they feel they should have gotten much earlier on. It’s okay that other people are involved with significant others and it’s also okay if people aren’t. Quite frankly, it doesn’t matter who has or hasn’t done what with who because this is about your journey, not everyone else’s.
Courtesy: Greg Raines
Just because it isn’t happening right now, doesn’t mean it won’t ever happen. We think that everyone is way ahead of us in terms of experience because of how we hear people talk about it, but let’s face it, not too many people go around exclaiming they haven’t had their first kiss yet so it makes us think no one else can relate. In life, everyone is on their own path and with these individual paths comes different timing for everyone. There is beyond enough time to explore your love life because it doesn’t have an expiration date. You are so young! You’ll have plenty of time to experience everything there is to in the realm of dating, relationships, etc. whether that be in one year or ten!
Society has got it all wrong. Throughout our lives, especially growing up in the era of social media, we see people in love practically everywhere. From scrolling through Instagram to watching our favorite movie, a cheesy love narrative is always in the mix. It engrains in our minds that we’re missing out on something everyone already has. Don’t feel pressured to be like everyone else or put yourself in a situation you don’t want to be in just because you want to throw away your title of “innocence.” Experience life on your own terms, not by the ones strangers on social media set up for you.
Courtesy: Clay Banks
Nobody cares. My lack of experience always felt like a big secret I had to carry around because I was afraid of anyone ever finding out. Things like these may seem like a big deal to you, but the people who love you the most won’t even think about it. And if anyone were to ever shame you about it, it’s not someone you’d want to be surrounded by anyways.
Last but certainly not least, there are much bigger things to worry about. You’re in college! You have your whole future ahead of you. Your friendships, your education, your career and many more valuable moments are blossoming in front of your very eyes. Don’t waste these moments by getting caught up on things you have your whole life to explore!
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