Coming out of the pandemic I realized, like many others, that I wasn’t quite happy with what was going on in my life. I went into the pandemic as a freshman whose biggest concern was which frat house I’d be going to on the weekend and came out as a 20-year-old who has never had a paying job. Besides feeling like I was behind my age group in terms of success, the apartment I had signed with my two best friends began to feel more like h*ll than a sanctuary. I felt trapped and alone. To me, I had reached rock bottom. I was desperate to get out of my situation and in need of some real changes with absolutely no clue where to start.
Still unsure of what these changes consisted of, I made a promise to myself that I would do everything in my power to turn my life around. During this past month, I have continuously shown up for myself. It has led me to a new apartment, an entry-level position in the career of my dreams and several opportunities I have been dying to be a part of. If you are someone that has also been struggling to find your place after the pandemic, this is your sign to make some drastic changes in your life. Here are some reminders to help get you back on track:
1. You need to do some self-reflection.
Learning how to self-reflect is probably the most useful skill anyone can gain in life. You can learn so much about yourself and your self-destructive habits that prevent you from succeeding. If you are unsure where to start, ask yourself what is and is not working in your life. Find the source of what is causing your misery and ask yourself how you allowed it to get to this point. Be critically honest with yourself. Once you have found its source, brainstorm some ideas on how you can change it. If you are currently unable to, try and see if you can change your mindset towards it. Sometimes changing your viewpoint is all you really need.
2. The only thing standing in your way is you.
I have the tendency to doubt myself as I’m sure a lot of us do. The two biggest thoughts that hold me back are:
- I’m going to embarrass myself trying.
- I’m going to get rejected.
Those are my two biggest fears and up until recently they had continuously caused me to miss out on opportunities. I had refused to even attempt to get out of my comfort zone, which only left me waiting desperately for something, anything, to fall into my lap.
Nothing ever did.
One day, I was listening to this wonderful podcast called The Prof G Pod with Scott Galloway. As the episode was playing, Galloway mentioned how failure and rejection are only a sign of success. In that moment I felt extremely called out, and it made me feel like total crap. Here Galloway was telling me what I’ve been desperately afraid of was the one thing that I needed to move forward. So instead of just continuing this cycle of endless waiting, I decided to start putting myself out there. I promised myself that anytime I saw anything remotely interesting I would apply for it. I convinced myself that the most embarrassing thing that could possibly happen was getting rejected and that was only a sign I was one step closer to success.
If you take anything away from this article, please let it be that you are the only thing standing in your way. If you do not put yourself out there, you will never move further than where you are now.
3. Removing yourself from toxic environments will save you.
Your environment plays a HUGE part in your mental health. Living in a space that does not give you joy can ruin how you feel. Same goes with where you work. If you are frequently stressed and angry at work the chance of bringing that home with you is extremely high. When it comes to these two variables, it may be difficult to remove yourself from the environment. If you are unhappy with where you live, I suggest taking space away by joining clubs and getting involved with your community. If you are unhappy with your workplace and unable to leave, try to find one good thing that happens during your shift and focus on it. Look for another job you may enjoy more while working at your current one instead of dealing with the stress of being unemployed.
This also has to do with people you surround yourself with. Sometimes we come to a point where we find ourselves loving people we no longer like. People change and grow apart and that’s completely normal. However, having the strength to recognize this and walk away is another story. As someone who has been extremely codependent in the past, this has always been difficult for me. I am the type of person who holds onto friendships until their last dying breath. I continuously reminisce over the good times, which only leaves me holding onto things that no longer exist. This was the hardest habit I had to break this month, but it is also the one that has set me free.
To give yourself the best chance of happiness, you need to surround yourself with people and things that brings positivity to your life.
4. Remember you always have a choice to choose differently.
Sometimes when you reach what seems like your lowest point you feel like you have run out of options. However, it is never too late to realize something or someone isn’t right for you. Life is only what you make of it. If you want to wait for something to fall into your lap and roll with it, you totally can. You can also decide to push yourself and your comfort level to make a difference in your life. Whichever you choose, your happiness should always be your main focus.
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