Looking back at old pictures from an earlier phase in your life can sometimes send you down a rabbit hole of regret. Social media features such as Snapchat memories and Timehop can make you resent even capturing the moment. It can make you think about how “skinny” you used to be, how many “friends” you used to have and maybe how “happy” you used to be. Trust me, it is not all it’s chopped up to be. You moved on from that part of your life for a reason. You are a being that is meant to grow and change. It all goes back to the root of self-comparison. When we envision our future selves, we think of the most-elite, advanced and healthy version of ourselves, when in reality, that may not be the case at all. We always refer to the saying “the best is yet to come” but what if it’s not? Although it is not discussed often, this phenomenon can be one of the most vicious ways of self-reflection.
We love to compare ourselves to an era in which we were the most successful. To an era where we had a surplus of money, an era when we dated the guy we’d been crushing on forever, an era where we had plans every weekend. That time in your life may seem superior in memory, but in actuality, you may have been struggling in unnoticed ways. Comparing yourself to your past self will do nothing but leave you in a perpetual state of stagnancy. Only your actions of today can define you. Use your actions from your past as a lesson, not as a template.
Musical artist Ke$ha is the perfect example of this phenomenon. The singer has reported on several occasions that her original image was not the image that she wanted to portray. She says that she was forced to sing those lyrics and that her current sound has been her true calling. Ke$ha no longer idolizes that old version of herself, even though she was seen by others at her peak of success. We associate “peaking” with being at the best point in our lives, while in Ke$ha’s case, it was the opposite.
Do not let the constraints of your past self hold precedent over the decisions you can make today. Because you are not in the same place you were at your “peak” does not mean that you are backtracking. This internal struggle can at times be exasperating. This struggle is similar to a snake shedding its skin. A snake grows and changes and eventually grows out of its skin. Does the snake look back and try to fit back into its old skin? The snake realizes that the old skin is too tight and the new skin will guide it onto bigger and better things. Remembering the snake and its skin whenever I find myself in a rut of toxic nostalgia has helped me in unexplainable ways.
It is okay to take a trip down memory lane every once in a while but do not let that old version of yourself control your current thoughts. Perhaps the best reason to even look back in the first place is to see how far you’ve come.
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