During my sophomore year at Florida State University, I started to develop really bad adult acne. As someone who grew up with mostly clear skin, I was shocked and confused as to why this was happening to me now. I was 19, wasn’t I supposed to be over all of this?
As time passed into the Fall semester, the problem didn’t get better. It was hard because no one around me seemed to have acne. This took a toll on me emotionally and physically. I hardly went out in public without a full face of makeup on and if I ever did leave my skin exposed, I felt awkward and insecure, constantly feeling like people were staring at my face. It was honestly a terrible experience, but I couldn’t keep letting my insecurities get in the way of me enjoying some of the best times of my life. Fall semester continued on and so did I, as I tried to not let my acne get the best of me. My friends were always there to support me and hype me up, even when they knew I was feeling terrible.
After what seemed like the longest semester of my life, I finally was home for winter break. Despite being home, I continued to wear concealer and foundation every day because of course, no one I knew from home could see me with this terrible acne. Sometimes I thought it was funny because I would get up and do the same thing every day. I would wake up, wash my face, pop a pimple, wash my face again, and then finally put make up all over. This wasn’t the best skincare routine, but nothing else seemed to work.
However, I started to get fed up. It had been six months and my face was still a raging mess. My mom had talked to me about going to see a dermatologist or at least trying to do something about it, but I never took it that seriously until I was back in Tallahassee with all of these beautiful people – who were thriving – not just surviving like I was. I told myself that the spring semester would be better. I told myself that for weeks, and it did get better, not my acne, but the way I viewed myself. I surrounded myself with people who love and support me for who I am and not just what I look like on the outside. There was still always a struggle for wanting to feel comfortable in my skin. I ended up going to a local dermatologist in Tallahassee and eventually I got prescribed a pill that would, as if by magic, cure my acne in five to six months.
I’m not going to lie, this was probably one of the best decisions I’d ever made. However, after my skin was cured, I realized that I had wasted those past few months of my life feeling bad for myself. It never mattered what I looked like. I wish I would have come to that conclusion while I was struggling with my acne. People see me now and always say that they never even noticed my bumpy face, except it doesn’t matter what they think. It matters only what you think of yourself. When I think about it, it was just acne, it wasn’t like I was dying, but at some points, it did feel like that. The experience taught me that, to make the most of my youth, I need to love myself despite my imperfections and despite what others may think about me because only I can control my happiness, and only you can control yours.
Want to see more HCFSU? Be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest!