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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

How to Cut off a Toxic Relationship: A Three-Step Guide

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at FSU chapter.

If you need to hear – or in this case read – someone say it, here goes: we’ve all been there before. It’s a commonly uncomfortable spot to be in and I am no stranger to this circumstance. I’ve found myself in more than a few toxic relationships throughout my short lifetime and if I can call it quits, I believe you can too, in fact, I’m urging you to! I know, I know, it’s a difficult truth to swallow and even more difficult to act upon, but terminating a toxic relationship is a definite must. So, here is my Three-Step Plan to eliminating those low vibrational relationships and cultivating more positive energy in your life.

Step One: Call A Spade…A Spade.

The first step to solving a problem is recognizing that you have one! If your relationship, be it platonic or romantic, is more of a stress-inducing space than a solace then let that serve as your cue to terminate. But if you are still unsure then ask yourself a few simple questions: Am I contributing more in this relationship than (insert name)? Am I only spending time with (insert name) out of obligation? Is this relationship helping or hindering me? Are the actions and words of (insert name) congruent? Your answers will undoubtedly tear the veil of denial from your eyes and help you to identify the existence of toxicity.

Step Two: “Let that MAN (or whoever it is) GO!”

I have found the best way to approach a break up of any kind is to cut it off cold turkey – once you’ve taken care of the logistics of course. This means to terminate all forms of contact and communication to place yourself in a clearer mental space.

Step Three: Realign and Reaffirm Yourself

There is more than likely an ample amount of work to be done, along with traumas to be undone, and now is the time to do so. Take this opportunity to work on you, for you! My advice is to explore your interests, discover any hidden talents, pursue any passion projects – find any alternative sources of wholeness, happiness and peace. And if you feel that you need to, take the time to rest and recuperate. It is very likely that in dealing with your previous relationship you were depleted of much valuable energy so taking out time to lay low and regain that strength back is absolutely OKAY!

Courtesy: Unsplash

“If you walked away from a

toxic, negative, abusive,

one-sided, dead-end

low vibrational

relationship or friendship 

— you won.” 

― Lalah Delia

Joelle Malika is a fourth year student at Florida State University studying English: Editing, Writing & Media with a passion for womxn's rights and social advocacy. When she isn't writing for HerCampus she is exploring her multitude of other interests which range from beauty and fashion to politics and activism. Instagram: @joelle.malika
Her Campus at Florida State University.