Before school started this fall, my boyfriend and I declared that one of our goals this semester would be to go to the gym every day. However, after classes picked up and we began to join clubs (another one of our goals), we suddenly found that three weeks had gone by and we hadn’t stepped foot inside the Leach once.
Finally, we made a deal to meet outside the gym after classes. It had been a long day, and as soon as we saw each other, we decided to go home and nap instead. We were creeping closer to our goal, but still lacked the one thing that could carry it out: motivation. It wasn’t that this was a completely unrealistic goal or one that would be difficult to achieve—we were just too comfortable.
It’s easy to get complacent in relationships. This is the person you probably spend most of your time with, the person who you’re supposed to be completely comfortable around and the person who should love you for who you are. So how do you maintain the motivation to keep improving yourselves?
1. Try new things together.
New experiences are a great way to not only avoid complacency, but also to grow closer. If you’re not very outdoors-y people, give hiking or kayaking a shot. If you always go out for dinner, try cooking together for a change. Allwomenstalk provides a fun list of ideas here. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone!
Courtesy: Jessica Bennett
2. Set goals together.
These can be big or small, short-term or long-term. Some of the ones we set were going to the gym and joining clubs. Give yourselves a time limit (for example, we’re going to go to the gym once by this Friday) and make a plan of action. These goals should be focused on improving yourselves, but should also be something you can do together. This way, you can fully support each other on these goals and ensure that they’re carried out.
3. Don’t stop trying.
Remember when your S.O. was just a crush, and you went out of your way to try and impress them? Well, it was working, so why did you stop? As we become more comfortable around each other, the inspiration to impress slowly fades away (I won’t lie; I’m occasionally guilty of not shaving for a week at a time). Yes, they will still think you’re beautiful no matter what, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop trying altogether.
It’s important to be comfortable in your relationship. But it’s equally important to find someone who makes you feel wonderful about yourself and pushes you to better yourself (and if you haven’t found them yet, don’t worry, you will!). Get out there and push each other to become the best version of yourselves. Don’t let complacency kill!