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We’re back with another themed week on the site: Career Week. This semester, Her Campus FSU has created themed weeks dedicated to exclusive content we believe all of our readers should have access to. Keep up on the site for the next few days as we cover everything from what NOT to put on your resume to a Q&A with an RMPD major currently interning at ELLE magazine in NYC. This week definitely won’t be filled with the cliché career advice you’re always hearing (take for instance there’s even a piece on how to deal with rejection). Don’t miss out!
My mother became pregnant with me at the very young age of 19. She was just a bit older than I am now and our perspectives of the future would’ve been nearly the same: graduate, get a job, start a family. For her, the family part came much faster than she expected and nine months later she had a daughter.
This was a detriment to the future she had implanted in her mind since she was a little girl. Thankfully, my grandparents were very supportive of her and she had help raising a child when she was, essentially, still one herself. She was able to finish her Associate’s degree back at the community college in her hometown. Within the next six years she got married and gave birth to three more children. She was a caring, devoting mother with a full-time job. At the age of 30, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree since, in her eyes, there would never be a good or right time to do it without conflictions. She finished and graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in civil engineering.
Today she has a well-paying job that she does well in and pertains to her interests while at the same time maintaining a healthy relationship with her children. Her values and determination have showed me what a woman is truly capable of. As a little girl, seeing my mother go through all of this and achieving her goals has impacted how I want to live my own life and contributed to my feminist ideals.
It’s common knowledge that women are typically associated with being the primary caregivers—an identification brought about strictly because of biological reasons. It was then established that men would be the hunters, the warriors, the breadwinners while women were in charge of raising the next generation. To see it still continued on in today’s society is baffling for similarly, as it takes two to tango, it also takes two to raise a child. Why is it such a popular belief that women should be the ones to sacrifice their careers to be mothers?
Don’t get me wrong, I admire the strength and passion of these mothers, but even they still can’t seem to catch a break. Women are shamed for not working if they choose to become unemployed in order to care for their children, but women are also shamed if they hire someone else to watch their kids as they continue to pursue their careers. Some are even forced to submit to one of the two and then they still receive judgement because no one is ever satisfied, even for something that wasn’t necessarily their choice.
Perpetuating this ideal into the minds of young women needs to change. We as a society need to adapt to the notion that women can have it all. Wanting to start a family should not hinder a woman’s decision to not pursue a career and vice versa. There is still a lot of unfair treatment happening in the world to women and as women we should not limit ourselves to only what society expects of us. Women can be leaders. Women can start a family and have a career. Women can and should be equal to men.
I am very fortunate to have someone like my mom in my life. She has taught me so much and shown me all what a woman is capable of and more. She’s shown me that I don’t have to restrict myself to just one thing, and I should take advantage of every opportunity that is possible because I can have it all.
Emma and her mom December 2011.
Courtesy: Emma Shaffer