I live my life always thinking ahead.
I look forward to what will hopefully be some of the most cherished moments of my life like getting engaged, walking down the aisle, landing the dream job, or having a baby. Whenever I conjure up images and ideas of how these moments play out there seems to be a common element in each. The moment something happens, I call my best friend, my sidekick.
I tell people that if I were getting married tomorrow, I already know who would be standing next to me throughout my special day. This gets a variety of responses, usually confused faces saying something like, “girl, it must be nice to have a friendship like that.”
And I’ve come to the disappointing conclusion that friendships nowadays are extremely tainted with a superficial and self-indulgent character. With pressures from social media and other influences, it seems easier to be friends with someone if they constantly like your pictures or comment on your post. I’m sure we can all agree that friendship is far more than a digital space.
I believe there are three distinct points when it comes to Girl Code, each focusing on different areas of friendship.
1. A win for them is a win for you.
This seems to cover a lot of ground when it comes to friendship. They ace a test, land a date with their crush, or score a great deal at the mall. Regardless of the magnitude of the circumstance, any tiny victory for them means a victory for you because you’re on the same team. To go green with envy if they got that date or passed the test you failed, it shouldn’t matter. A real friendship thrives off the celebrations and encouragement of one to the other.
2. Honesty is forever the best policy.
I cannot stress this one enough. Whether it’s something as simple as them having food in their teeth or having concerns about their significant other, it’s often proven that speaking up is the better way to go. Why? Any kind of relationship, platonic or romantic, is built on trust and the only real way to establish trust is through honesty.
3. Protect and preserve.
The strongest friendships are the ones that you feel genuinely safe in. Having a friend that always waits to make sure you’re inside before driving away, talking on the phone with you when you’re somewhere sketchy, or even saving you from a creepy guy on a night out. Not to mention preserving and protecting their feelings like when they need to rant about their bad day, they’re going through a hard time emotionally, or they need a pep talk. As a friend, your job is to be her first line of defense against her attackers both physically and emotionally, and her support system through any type of turmoil.
Friendship is difficult to navigate; I never said it was easy. In simpler times when girl code consisted of wearing each other’s bracelets and saving the other a spot at the swings, we were oblivious to the world that awaited us and the bumpy roads to friendship.
I met my best friend in the sixth grade after I offered her one of my green apple Sour Punch Straws. I moved away the summer after our freshman year of high school, but since then, there hasn’t gone a week where we don’t take time to talk. We celebrate our victories, support each other through the lowlights, and although we’re far away from each other, I try to protect her by being her virtual companion on her trips to Walmart.
In some ways, it comes naturally, and in others, it takes a little more effort. If the two of you are committed to your friendship, there shouldn’t be a reason you can’t follow the rules of girl code.
I think we’re living in a time where friendships lack their depth. Now more than ever we should empower each other by showing our willingness to be a good friend. To be supportive and celebrate the victories without attention to self-gain and to protect each other from our attackers.
Sure, it may seem silly, but if one thing’s for certain it’s that girl code changes along with us. We just have to be willing to stick to it.
Want to see more HCFSU? Be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest!