Finding Your Love Language During Cuffing Season

With iconic seasonal movies, pumpkin-themed everything and cute Instagram posts, cuffing season has us all on the edge of our seats! We tend to associate the looming holidays with coupling up since it’s common to reference popular culture when thinking of the ideal romantic experience. Cuffing season is a lot of fun, but in order to make a relationship work, you have to know the best way that you and your partner can show each other that you truly care. In both serious and casual relationships, one of the most frequent conflicts that tend to arise is miscommunication. It can manifest in multiple ways and leaves people feeling out-of-touch with their partners across the board. Luckily, best-selling author and relationship expert Dr. Gary Chapman has everyone’s back when it comes to communication issues! He proposed five distinct love languages to tackle the problem: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch. All of them have significant roles to play when forming a deep connection with a partner.

kiss above the city Christopher Sardegna

First things first; it’s important to take the official quiz to find out what your primary love language is. There’s an unexpected catch: the love language that has the highest percentage doesn’t necessarily outweigh the others – they work together, but everybody’s favorite way to receive love from someone else is different. For example, a person whose love language is physical touch will not feel fully appreciated if their partner is not much of a hugger and only expresses affection through giving gifts. It’s common knowledge that feeling unappreciated in a relationship eventually leads to distrust and even resentment if concerns are kept bottled up. So, why are these love languages so important for cuffing season, especially during this time? The answer is simple: the COVID-19 pandemic has left many couples either quarantined together for extended periods of time or unable to see each other often due to safety concerns. These changes can put a lot of strain on a relationship, and both parties should pay close attention to their partner’s needs.

Studying each other’s love languages has the potential to work wonders in any situation. After recently getting into a new relationship, I came across the love language quiz while browsing the internet and took it for fun, not knowing the impact it will have on my perception of love and the responsibility that comes with it. My love language ended up being acts of service, which was not the result I expected. This shed some light onto why I tend to feel happier when my loved ones help me out with practical responsibilities as compared to when they give me gifts. The quiz left me feeling pretty intrigued, so I sent it to my boyfriend to see what language he got. We talked about our results and how the other love languages could benefit us as well, and I thought it would be fun to take this Buzzfeed quiz situation and apply it to my daily life. Knowing that his love language is words of affirmation, I’ve made more of an effort to vocalize my feelings and give him a lot of compliments. In return, he’s gotten me my favorite snacks when I was studying for a test! After finding my love language, I understood that making an effort to communicate productively can be as simple as taking a fun quiz.

Love languages tend to show up in many elements of popular culture. After all, it’s a fairly common trope in movies to help out your partner with chores, give them a meaningful gift out of the blue, or surprise them with a big hug. Although, there is one thing that a lot of rom-coms get wrong about love languages (and we often make the mistake of accepting it as normal): it is the idea that you don’t have to go out of your way for your partner unless you did something wrong. This cuffing season, the takeaway is that the actions these love languages represent should be more common – they pave the way for the happy and healthy relationship that everyone wants!

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