Greetings lovers, my name is Maria Jimenez. I am a junior at The Florida State University who has been around the block more than a few times, but is now in a great relationship and learning what love really is. I am here to answer all your questions and to give you the lowdown on hot new dorm flings, long distance relationships and how to master the walk of shame. Keep up with me for the best love, sex and relationship advice.
“Y’all are my motherfu**ing soulmates.” – James Franco in Spring Breakers
Some people consider their significant other to be their soulmate, and while that’s all sunshine and rainbows, others of us find ourselves feeling lost and incomplete without our best friend. Together we think we are as fabulous as Taylor and Selena. I cannot picture myself living without her, taking care of her drunk self or even texting her when we are only separated by a wall and both cuddled in bed. When new boys come into the picture, we are very protective and the boy is clearly warned that they will never be number one in her life. So, before you date me you should know:
- My BFF is automatically invited to all cuddle parties.
- I will probably text her more than you.
- I will bring her home food or my leftovers from our nice dates.
- If you compliment my outfit, it is partially hers.
- If you come over, you will probably see her naked too; pants are optional at our house.
- If I’m drunk, it is her fault – we always go shot-for-shot.
- Ask her what to get me for my birthday or Valentine’s Day because she knows what I want and she will keep it a surprise.
- I’m sorry but most of your secrets are not safe with me – I tell her everything.
- Let’s hope she falls in love with your best friend and then we can double date for life.
- Some of the texts I have sent you have actually come from her thumbs.
- She is going to be uncomfortable that I will be showing affection to another human that is not her.
- If she is in a bad mood, I am automatically in a bad mood. To tell you the truth, our time of the month comes at the same time, so good luck.
- She will be the honorary third wheel.
- Some people may have questioned our sexuality before you came into the picture.
- You will get to hold my hand, but she will get to hold my other hand.
- But hey, you will get a new best friend too!
- If you hurt or disrespect me, you better watch out… she will come for you.