“Where’s the girl with the list?” has been a phrase flooding TikTok comment sections for years. Videos typically shared by new and expectant mothers showcasing unruly children, unforeseen symptoms of pregnancy, and complications during childbirth have been thoughtfully coined as “free birth control” across the internet.
While offering humor and shock value, this content also provides a sobering look at the realities of motherhood, opening many young women’s eyes, including my own, to the unsung sacrifices made daily by mothers around the world.
After hearing about “The Girl With The List” in countless comment sections over the years, many people still may not know the name and face behind this iconic creator. I recently had the pleasure of speaking to Abigail Porter, the woman behind this viral list, to learn more about her relationship with social media, the future of her platform, and the educational messages her content promotes.
With nearly 300 entries and 1 million followers on TikTok alone, Porter has gained a significant platform to promote her humorous and informative approach to child-free centered content.
Her Campus (HC): How did the list begin, and did you expect it to take on such a life of its own?
Abigail Porter (AP): I was always seeing these videos of moms posting crazy things that their kids have done or things that they didn’t know about pregnancy. Every time I’d see one, I’d open the comment section, and it’d say, “Thank you for providing me with my free birth control today.”
That’s genius! What if I was the person that people come to for “free birth control?” The first video that I did on it got over 6 million views and so I thought, “Okay this is it, this is what I do now, this is great, I love this!”
HC: Has the narrative with the list always been to create space for open conversation as opposed to deterring women away from having children in general?
AP: Absolutely. That’s been very present on my mind since I started it. I never want to be negative, especially when it comes to women’s bodies. It’s always very intentional. I want to spread love and education because we deserve to know about these things.
We grow up as women so focused on our bodies, and then we get pregnant and those ideas kind of have to crumble. Our bodies change so much. It’s so drastic and can cause issues. We need to know about the realities of what pregnancy does to our bodies. We deserve to know about that. Not in a way that shames us, but in a way that lifts us and educates us.
HC: How do you deal with any backlash being a child-free woman posting the content that you do?
AP: Honestly, most of the hate comments come from these faceless profiles; it just bounces off of me at this point. For every hate comment, there are 100 comments from women telling me that this has been so helpful for them and that they’re so happy I’m doing this. There are moms even saying that they think this is so funny and that they’re so glad I’m raising awareness.
HC: What value have you found in including intersectionality within your content alongside navigating complex conversations about reproductive rights?
AP: The biggest thing for me is the facts, statistics, and studies that show that Black women are way more likely to either be harmed or die during childbirth because of our inherent biases. They don’t treat Black women like they might treat White women in the same position.
If their doctors aren’t going to be 100 percent prepared, they need to be aware of the risks that could come during childbirth to keep themselves safe. If you’re a midwife or a doctor delivering babies, you must be aware of your biases. That can save lives.
I also have so many friends who are trans, and they’re under attack right now. It’s insane, their bodies are not being respected, and very real harm can come to them, so it’s important to me.
HC: Do you have any fears regarding increased TikTok censorship and how it may impact the exposure of your content?
AP: Yes, I’m worried about it. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I went viral a few times over the past month, so I don’t feel like my channel specifically has been censored too much. I do think that my channel could be in danger because it’s about women and education. It’s pro-choice and pro-abortion, it’s all of those things.
HC: What advice would you give to someone who wants to use social media to promote advocacy?
AP: You’ve got to keep things light sometimes and heavier other times. If you’re making jokes and keeping things kind, supportive, and funny, people will want to listen when you’re serious, having a sit-down talk with the camera.
This balance is hard to build but a huge blessing if you can get to that point. Just try your best to build a community of kindness, love, and fun so that the audience will listen when things get serious.
HC: How do you see your content evolving in the following years?
AP: There’s so much more that I want to do; I’m working on a book. I’m not one of those people who’s just going to write a book when she gets famous, but people are asking for it. I never considered myself to be an author but here we are, you never know. I’m also trying to get merch out. As things get going, I would love to do more “day in the life” and travel content.
HC: Do you have any advice for women who are choosing to be child-free or grappling with that idea?
AP: I would say take it day by day and look for examples in your daily life. Something that helped me was looking at all the women, either celebrities or family members, who are child-free.
My aunt is always traveling and doing such incredible stuff, so she’s a big role model for me. Remember that there are a million different paths in life. If you’re living in a way that’s authentic to you, you’ll find happiness no matter what.
HC: Do you have a certain entry on the list that sticks out for you the most? For me, it’s the woman who pushed too hard during labor and lost her eyesight because her retinas detached.
AP: That’s the one I was going to say! That one haunts me! I have to sit here and rub my eyeballs to remind myself that they’re still here after thinking about that video because it’s so freaky to me.
Porter’s candid conversations have ignited important discussions about the realities of motherhood. Through humor, honesty, and firsthand testimonies, she’s built a platform that both entertains and informs. As her message continues to grow, Porter inspires awareness and provides valuable resources to help young women make informed decisions about their futures, one list entry at a time.
*Edited for length and clarity.
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