**Content warning: This article contains mentions of domestic violence.**
On Sept. 6, 2024, waves were made in the Mormon community following the release of the hit show The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives (SLOMW). What started as a pandemic pastime of making fun TikTok videos blew up into an empowered, women-centered community. Now, their faces are a staple on our home TVs, their dirty sodas a favorite in our fridges, and, more recently, their names a headline in our news.
Taylor Frankie Paul, who we watched be reinstated as the leader of MomTok in Season 3, has been a constant in my Instagram feed following the cancellation of her season of The Bachelorette.
What would be enough to cancel a show that’s filmed 22 seasons, each featuring its own fair share of questionable castings? Well, it’s a problematic baby daddy, of course.
Let’s Start at the Beginning
The first episode of SLOMW cemented itself in the reality TV hall of fame after ending in a 911 call and police sirens. Feb. 17, 2023, a concerned neighbor called local authorities after a screaming match happening in Paul’s garage reached a concerning intensity. Participating in that argument was then-boyfriend Dakota Mortensen, who viewers of the show have a tenuous familiarity with.
The night ended in Paul’s arrest and led to charges of felony aggravated assault, domestic violence in the presence of a child, and more. Although featured on the show, this alarming incident faded into the background as more drama surfaced throughout the season, a large part of this drama being Mortensen himself.
After multiple breakups, a pregnancy, and countless cheating accusations, the relationship between Mortensen and Paul was far from simple. They were semi-functional co-parents at best and toxic exes at their worst, with an occasional line being blurred as one fell back into bed with the other.
Despite claiming to have love and passion for Paul, Mortensen appeared unable to help himself after repeatedly landing himself in troubling situations.
This dissonance was a driving narrative throughout Season 4. The cast celebrated as it was confirmed that Paul would star as the new bachelorette for the popular ABC show, a valuable chance for her to move on from past toxicity and find a more honest love.
A voice that was noticeably quiet, however, was Mortensen’s. That is, until March 19, three days before Paul’s season of The Bachelorette was scheduled to air.
The Video and the Facts
On a random Thursday, footage was leaked to TMZ and released to the public from the night of Paul’s arrest. The video does contain sensitive content, but the gist of it portrays Paul exhibiting violent behaviors towards Mortensen in the presence of her young daughter, who can be heard off-camera.
Despite my belief that there’s more to the story than a single video, I don’t support domestic violence of any kind and agree that this is a deeply disturbing event.
Now, there are some other facts that help paint a fuller picture. For one, Mortensen’s reaction on Season 4 to finding out that Paul was going to be on The Bachelorette. After the news broke, he started a relationship with a woman in their friend group, seemingly in retaliation, with the intention of eliciting a reaction from his ex.
The night before Paul flew out to LA to film the show, she and Mortensen also slept together and then shared a FaceTime call the next day where he told her to “save a rose for me.”
I’m no relationship expert, but there is something innately misleading about him creating some kind of hope for their connection while Paul is about to pursue new romantic bonds.
Going back to the video, it was filmed in 2023 but released this year. Why? What purpose is there in sitting on that footage for so long and choosing now to share it with the world? In a way, it doesn’t tell us anything new.
Paul was already tried and found guilty of various domestic-violence-based charges, information that has never been kept a secret. She’s gone on podcasts and done interviews, detailing her actions and the emotions that motivated them.
Not only do we already know what happened during that troubling night, but we also have a recording of the call that the concerned neighbor made to 911.
“Somebody is screaming like ‘Get off me.’ There is a woman screaming,” the caller claimed. “It’s like the garage door keeps opening and shutting. It sounds like she is trying to get out. I don’t know if the kids are there right now…”
This validates that there was some concern regarding Paul’s safety during this ordeal. It by no means grants her innocence, but it’s definitely a reminder that a longer fight had ensued before Mortensen decided to hit record on his phone.
We have no way of knowing what she might have experienced to respond in such an extreme manner as she did, but we do know that two adults were fueling that argument — neither party is completely innocent.
Your Honor, Hear Me Out
The video of Paul is undeniable and indefensible, but there are more inconsistencies with the narrative than there are doubts about that. Again, why was it deemed necessary to release this footage three years after the initial incident? Not only is it irrelevant in this new context, but it’s also retraumatizing for the people involved, including close friends and family.
It’s also not like the recording was shared out of the goodness of anyone’s heart; there was a social and potentially monetary profit made from it. Even more sad was that it was released on the birthday of Mortensen and Paul’s son, Ever. That little boy should’ve been celebrated, but instead, his parents were fighting a violent war in the media. The suspicious timing strikes again.
For this next point, pretend I’m screaming from the rooftops. Mortensen has shown time and time again that he’s a selfish person with destructive intentions. Being unfaithful in his relationship, being romantic with people close to Paul, leading her on with pretty words before gaslighting her in the next scene. He’s a huge trigger for Paul and is just as guilty of being an antagonist.
Rumors from Mortensen’s past relationship have also started circulating online, stories of tension and alleged controlling behaviors within a failed marriage. Though gossip is far from a proven fact, it would be naive to dismiss these patterns that we’ve already started to notice for ourselves from the show.
Where This Leaves Us
The video of Paul speaks for itself, but so do Mortensen’s actions over the years, all the way to his present choices. It’s important that we remember that these people are real and have depth beyond being an entertaining presence on our TVs. It’s okay to talk, speculate, and support, but it’s not acceptable to make an already difficult situation worse.
Every day, more voices chime in the chorus, and information is revealed. Most recently, police bodycam footage from that 2023 night has been leaked, further complicating the storyline. Members of MomTok have shown support for the families while being stern about their stance on domestic violence.
My own thoughts are turned towards the children and the people most affected by the events that have taken place, and I hope both Paul and Mortensen use this time to heal and grow.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1(800) 799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org
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