We are well into fall semester, and it’s about the time when people start coupling off. We’ve had the first few weekends of big partying, and now things have begun to simmer down; nevertheless, that one special guy you met is still stuck in your head. You get to know each other, and before you know it, you’ve looped yourself right into a relationship.
What happens now? This isn’t high school collegiettes; we are living on our own, in the real world. Here are the three biggest problems that will arise, and how to deal with them:
1. Making him the priority. Okay so maybe this problem has surfaced in the past, but it can become an even larger problem in college. For freshmen, this can be particularly detrimental. For most of you, this is the first time living away from home and freedom is sweet. But let’s take a moment to think about this: you’re entering into a whole new realm, most likely without a solid circle of friends. Who’s going to keep you anchored to reality? Making the new boyfriend a priority can cause a major stunt in your growth socially, so what happens if it doesn’t work? You have to start all over and this time the playing field isn’t even. Don’t put yourself in a bubble. College is all about experiencing new things, and with so much to offer around campus it’s easy to fall into a comfort zone. Beyond that, you can’t let your grades suffer. Managing time for him, yourself, friends, grades and extracurricular activities is a huge task. Once you have it mastered you’ll find the best of everything.
2. Don’t let him move in, and don’t move in with him. No, I’m not literally talking about moving in here, but staying the night in each other’s rooms 5/7 days of the week (give or take) is excessive. Not only could this cause a problem to arise between the two of you, but also it’s without a doubt going to cause problems with whomever you’re living with, especially if you share a bedroom or bathroom. Hopefully, you and your roommate have an agreement on having guests but if you don’t, do so as soon as possible.
3. Trust. You thought you knew it in high school, but you’ve never known jealousy until college. Tailgates, socials, bars, clubs. You name it, college has it. Along with that comes major opportunity to meet other boys, and for boys to meet other girls. Whether you like it or not, trust will probably become a issue, and unfortunately the only way to seemingly resolve that is to be with that person every time they go out. That’s a hard thing to do, and unfortunately we can’t be a fly on the wall (throwback to Miley Cyrus anyone?) so we have to learn to trust. If you’re with the guy for the right reasons, then this should go flawlessly. The good thing about this college risk factor is that it helps us weed out the bad seeds pretty easily, but at a cost. The key to being able to tell when something is going on behind your back is to listen to your gut. At the first warning signs, it’s important to have a conversation with your boy about what will fly and what won’t.
Remember, the college-dating scene is crazy, and it takes a strong girl protecting her heart in order to survive. Never put anyone before yourself, and always listen to your gut. Find me on twitter at @EmilyCBland and let me know what you want to hear about next.