Everyone knows that being assigned a random roommate, especially at the start of your freshman year of college, is terrifying. As someone who had not one, but two random roommates in my first triple dorm room at FSU, I’m familiar with the anxiety from knowing little about the people you share a very, very small space with.
I’ll admit that you may be paired with someone that you don’t get along with, leading to some uncomfortable situations, but I’ve also made some incredible friendships by asking for a random roommate on my housing application.
Here are some of the reasons I’ve loved and hated the random roommate experience:
Pro: Late Night Conversations and Adventures
Getting to know someone through the chaos that is a college dorm is something that bonds you for life. From late-night fire alarms or tornado alerts to midnight debriefs, I can honestly say that my experience in FSU’s dorms allowed me to form extremely strong connections with a lot of new people, including my random roommates.
There’s such a strong ‘we’re all in this together’ vibe in the dorms that can only be formed with someone you’ve just met. This can create long-lasting friendships if you get paired with a roommate who’s just as open to blindly navigating these situations with you.
While I don’t think every random roommate situation brings this about, I’ve definitely had some experiences with a few of my random roommates that bonded us for life.
Con: Silence and Passive Aggression
On the opposite side of the coin, when you don’t get along with a random roommate, your dorm room can become a place of uncomfortable silence or passive-aggressive conversations. In really tense environments, a problem with one of your random roommates can lead to a dorm room where you can hear a pin drop, and making eye contact can feel like you’re breaking the law.
I know many people, myself included, who have faced a heated argument in a roommate group chat, followed by zero communication when you’re actually in the dorm room with all of your roommates. While it definitely wasn’t a situation I’d recommend, I think breaking the silence is the best thing you can do, even if it’s incredibly anxiety-inducing.
In extreme cases, you can pull in your Resident Assistant to mediate (something I sadly had to do my freshman year), but even when things got bad, I had my other random roommate to help me get through it, so I still wouldn’t completely write off leaving room assignments up to fate.
Pro: Start From Scratch, No Expectations
Living with someone you know can create a lot of pressure. Either you constantly feel the need to maintain a certain set of standards that you know the other person upholds, or boundaries can become hazy, and you or your roommate might assume some rules can be broken because you’ve known each other for so long. It’s so easy to skip over important conversations about living spaces when your roommate is a lifelong friend.
Yet, with a random roommate, you get to know the person slowly. This can make it easier to set rules and make compromises for how to treat your space together, rather than having to deal with the assumptions that often come with living with someone you’ve known forever.
If there are issues, it can be much more difficult to approach someone you have a lasting friendship with than someone you’re still getting to know, whom you don’t feel pressured to act a certain way around.
Living with a random roommate also puts you in a space where you don’t feel forced to become friends. There are absolutely no expectations, so if you have issues, they can feel easier to approach. Even if you do get along, you still don’t have to be best friends (though that’s always a plus), and you have more space to air out any grievances without feeling like you’re damaging a friendship.
Con: Surviving Uncleanliness
In my experience, even if you don’t get along with your random roommate, most things are easy to ignore if you can get out of your dorm often and keep interactions to a minimum. The one thing I think is very difficult to let go of is poor cleanliness in such a small space.
I had an experience in my first few weeks of dorm life where my roommate and I’s bathroom was completely trashed, and no one knew about it. I won’t go into specifics, but I’ll say it was a mess, and the person who made it should be expected to clean up.
When confronted about it, my roommate said it was an accident, and she only left it because she didn’t know how to clean it. My other roommate and I then had to walk her through the step-by-step process of cleaning a bathroom.
This was the first offense, but sadly, not the last; however, my roommate and I got through living with our third roommate by communicating when things were getting out of hand. While I definitely wouldn’t want to live like that again, I think these situations are navigable, especially when you have someone else helping you through them.
Pro: Expanding Friend Groups
When you live with someone you know, chances are the two of you probably run in the same social circles and know a lot of the same people. Living with a random roommate allows you to get to know the new person you’re living with and, if you get along, meet a lot of their friends as well, and vice versa.
Random roommates have given me the chance to broaden my social circles on multiple occasions, and I’ve gained a lot of really valuable friendships from the girls I’ve lived with and who they’ve introduced me to. Whether you’re just starting college and looking to meet more people on campus, or you’re in your last few years and are looking to branch out, there are always great connections to be made in a random roommate situation.
The truth is, you’re going to have a few issues here and there, regardless of how much you like or don’t like your roommate. By October, you’ve spent so much time in a cramped space with your roommate that something is bound to set both of you off, even if it’s a small thing that you end up forgetting even happened in a few days.
You’re never going to avoid roommate issues completely, but as long as you’re open to talking about the things that bother you and can receive the same criticisms from those you live with, I truly believe any situation can work out. At least, for the year that you’re in that dorm.
I can’t promise you won’t be counting the days to freedom, but there are definitely ways to make anything work, and if it’s truly terrible, you can always ask for reassignment.
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