Florida State has everything. A gorgeous campus you can walk across every day, stunning sunrises and sunsets, and architecture that perfectly captures college life — it’s everything a girl could dream of. Their bathrooms? Now that’s a different story.
FSU’s bathrooms are hit-or-miss, depending on the building they’re in. Some feel luxurious, while others make your skin crawl and leave you questioning your life choices. Naturally, I spent a week bathroom-hopping across campus to rank the bathrooms based on their vibes.
Bottom Three Bathrooms
No. 3 Bellamy Building
As an international affairs major who often goes into this building, I can confidently say that Bellamy’s bathrooms are straight-up tragic. Are they the actual worst? No, but they’re definitely the saddest-looking bathrooms I’ve seen in a hot minute. The lighting is dim, the vibe is dreary, and it looks like renovation funds skipped right over Bellamy.
I literally would rather hold in my pee or go into another building’s bathroom before I ever step in Bellamy’s bathrooms again. Instead of spending money on our less-than-amazing football team, we should allocate funds to bathroom renovations.
No. 2 Strozier Library
Strozier’s bathrooms are another set in desperate need of renovation. For some reason, FSU decided to give one of the busiest buildings the smallest bathroom. It’s always crowded and gets overstimulating really quickly. Especially on the first floor, when the moment you walk in, you’re greeted with disgustingly wet floors. On top of that, the bathroom lighting is atrocious.
Then, after you finish doing your business, when you go to wash your hands, there’s no countertop in sight; just straight sink and nothing else. Hopefully, you’re not carrying anything with you, because there’s no place to put it. It almost seems like they ran out of budget to finish making these bathrooms.
On another note, let’s talk about that random women’s bathroom in the stairwell between the first and second floors. Never in my life have I seen just one bathroom in between stairwells, and stairwells are very echoey. I don’t want people hearing me pee, and I definitely don’t want to hear people chatting right outside the door.
No. 1 Student Union
For the worst bathroom on campus, I have to give it to the first-floor Student Union bathroom. The bathroom itself is pretty nice and renovated; however, that place is a total war zone.
You walk in, and the smell hits you immediately. You tell yourself, “It’s a bathroom, it’s supposed to smell,” but it only gets worse. You open the first stall, and you’re met with someone’s unflushed pee. You go into the next stall, and it looks like someone tee-peed the stall. Surely the next stall is good… Nope, someone decided to bomb the toilet and not flush. This cycle keeps on repeating until you’re halfway down the row.
By this point, I’m disgusted and agitated that flushing and sanitation are still issues at our age. I mean, this could send a germaphobe to their deathbed. Once you’re done, you have to fight your way to use the sink, because the school decided to only have three sinks for 15 stalls in a busy building. Then you have to duke it out with the sink, because the sensor can’t pick up your hand motion. It’s pure overstimulation from start to finish.
The real warriors in this situation are the people who have to clean that bathroom. They work so hard to clean, just for the restrooms to be disgusting again.
Top Three Bathrooms
No. 3 The Psychology Building
The Psychology building has some great bathrooms. They’re quite clean and empty for the most part. What I really love about them is that some have full-body mirrors. Why does the Psychology Department, of all places, have them? I’ll never know. Still, it’s a rare campus luxury I’ll happily take advantage of.
It may be weird, but I love looking at a full-body mirror before I leave. It’s an essential that every bathroom should have.
No. 2 Albert and Judith Dunlap Student Success Center
This bathroom was love at first sight. The first-floor bathroom is gorgeous, spotless, and nicely built. Honestly, it could compete with a nice hotel bathroom. I would’ve put this at number one, but there’s just one thing missing that keeps it from bathroom perfection.
No. 1 Health and Wellness Center
Is there a bathroom style better than the Dunlap Student Success Center’s? Yes. The Health and Wellness Center’s men’s bathroom is super nice inside — yes, I’ve accidentally gone into the men’s bathroom thinking it was the women’s bathroom, but that’s beside the point.
The women’s bathroom, on the other hand, is average. It’s not bad at all, just not as good as the men’s. What makes this bathroom truly elite, though, is one small yet life-saving detail: they provide free pads and tampons. This place has saved me from more than one close call, and for that, I’ll forever be grateful. That alone earns it the No. 1 spot on this list.
Honorable Mention: Lower-level and second-floor of the Student Union
Unlike the chaos that is the first-floor bathroom at the Student Union, these bathrooms have some class. They all look the same, but the difference is night and day. It’s so much cleaner, quieter, and less traumatic on my eyes. Both bathrooms are comfortable and are my go-to bathrooms whenever I’m at the Union.
At the end of the day, campus bathrooms don’t define FSU. It’s not bad to know which restrooms are worth going to and which aren’t. Whether you like the chaos of the Student Union or the peace of the Psychology Building, one thing’s for sure: finding a clean, quiet restroom on campus is an art form.
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