I’m sure we can all agree that FSU does a lot of things right. Unfortunately, parking isn’t one of them. Parking was one of the last things I expected to stress about when going to college, but somehow finding a spot has become a daily battle. Honestly, I think every FSU acceptance letter should come with a giant warning label that reads: “beware of parking.”
- Make the Right Move (Turn Left)
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I know this one might sound stupid, but when you get to a turn, always turn left. Think about it: most people instinctively turn right, so those spots are more likely to fill up quickly. The left side is your best bet. The only exception is if the person in front of you goes left before you turn left. In that case, congratulations, you’re turning right.
- Know Your Enemy
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This is one of those things that just comes with experience. Over time, you’ll learn which garages are worth attempting and which ones to not even bat an eye at. For me, Traditions is the one I’ll never even give a chance. I lived in Magnolia my freshman year, and that garage had seen far too many of my tears for me to go back. Traditions is like that one ex.
Timing also matters. If you have a class at 8 a.m., try to arrive around 7:30 a.m. I know that sounds like pure medieval torture, because that 8 a.m. is already taking years off your life, but you’ll thank me. Because you know what else takes years off your life? The stress of parking.
- Blind Leading the Blind
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Although it might seem like a good idea to follow the other cars in the garage, trust me, it’s not. No, they don’t know what they’re doing. No, they don’t have some secret parking spot that no one knows about. Chances are, they’re probably just as lost as you are. Save yourself the time and find your own section of the garage.
- Stalk Now, Park Later
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When nothing else is working, and your class starts in five minutes, it’s time to become a borderline stalker. You heard me right. Park your car near the nearest stairwell and wait until you spot someone walking out. I know it might seem awkward at first to follow someone through a parking garage with your car, but I promise it’s practically the norm.
The number of times I’ve been followed through the garage or asked, “Are you leaving?” is too many to count. Honestly, I think I’d be butt-hurt if I wasn’t asked for my parking spot. Like, is there something wrong with me or my car?
- Parking is a Mind Game
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Most importantly, you have to be tough and refuse to give up. Parking at FSU is not for the weak. It’s a mental game, and you have to be prepared to fight for your life (or at least your parking spot). One second of hesitation can lead to 15 more minutes of circling the garage. You might question your sanity, your driving, and even your decision to attend FSU, but whatever you do, don’t give up. You have a spot to find, soldier.
At the end of the day, parking at FSU is a skill that can be learned with some practice, patience, and a whole lot of luck. You might have to miss a few spots, circle the garage way more times than you’d like to admit, or even shed a few tears, but eventually, you’ll get the hang of it and become the next FSU parking warrior. I hope these tips help you on your next parking adventure. Remember, if you can survive parking at FSU, you can survive anything.
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