Having trouble trying to get it across to your guy that you prefer jewelry to that new coffee pot he gave you? Don’t worry. We’ve got some helpful ways for you to avoid receiving gifts like the “cute” purse that he picked out himself, and the 6-inch dangly earrings that “The sales lady said would look great on you”. To understand your man’s tendency to give goofy gifts, we first need to figure out why they have such a hard time picking out gifts. There are two potential reasons as to why your man is a “bad gift giver”.
One reason you could be the recipient of a lousy gift is that his memory is also a little lousy. We all forget things sometimes, but rather than implying to someone that they mean only as much to you as the last minute pharmacy store present you got them, it is better to tell them the truth and say you forgot. Last minute gifts imply “It was bought in less than ten minutes with little or no thought for how much I care about you!” You might find yourself avoiding getting angry with this because you don’t want to ruin the special night. But how can you address this in a way that doesn’t cause a fight while also making sure you don’t receive anymore gas station presents in the future?
The other reason for guys giving goofy gifts is that they might simply be clueless. Maybe your guy really did try but just has truly bad taste. A study done by the University of Washington in Seattle has shown that one in every twelve men is colorblind when looking at the colors red and green. Compared to only one out of every two hundred and thirty women, it is proven the loss of color vision (aka the ability to judge how good a gift will be) is caused by a missing gene on the X-chromosome. Women are more likely to not be affected by this unfortunate defect because we have two X-chromosomes, and therefore twice the chance at having the “red and green vision” genes.
These “innocent bad gift-givers” don’t realize they picked you out the most out-of-style purse, and are excited to hear that their gift is your next obsession. But how do you tell them they messed up?
You have two choices when presented by either innocent or last minute bad gifts. You can politely accept the gift and wear it proudly (when he is around). Or you can carefully explain your disappointment. You might worry about hurting his feelings, or causing an argument on a special day, but the truth is that in the long run it will pay off. Not only will it bring you closer because you are sharing feelings and opinions that you normally wouldn’t, but it will also prevent it from happening again the next holiday or special occasion. Not letting him know how you truly feel about a gift can cause you to slowly build up resentment for him and your relationship together. Honesty is the best policy here if you are willing to approach the subject carefully.
But wouldn’t it just be easier to avoid this disaster in the first place? Some steps you can take to avoid this sticky situation all together are let him know in advance what your preferences are. Things like your favorite color or style of jewelry are easy to bring up in everyday conversation, but don’t give him any clues as to what things you would like. To drop more difficult hints such as exactly what it is that you want him to get, you have to be aware of how he is thinking. Simply saying you want something “blue” leaves him in the dark as to whether you want a blue sweater or a blue coffee mug. Your hints should help him narrow down the categories to choose from; clothes, jewelry, flowers, etc. Suppose your man gets you a huge stuffed bear every Valentine’s Day, but you want to tell him that you would rather go out to dinner at a nice restaurant on the water. While you are casually hanging out with him you can say something along the lines of “Valentine’s day is almost here! That bear you got me last year was so adorable.” This lets him know that even if you do suggest something else you still appreciate what he has already done. You might then say “Do you know where that bear would look even more adorable? The restaurant on the lake lets go there!” This approach has little chance of hurting his feelings because not only did you compliment him on something he gave you in the past, but if you had no idea what he was planning in the first place it means you didn’t necessarily reject it. Not to mention that he will probably be thrilled he doesn’t have to stress about guessing where you’d like to go!