In the day-to-day life of an FSU student, countless decisions must be made. What classes to take? What clubs to join? Where to grab lunch? Yet one decision looms over the rest: a silent, often-overlooked battleground that looms over the daily lives of every student, faculty member, and guest who steps foot on campus — a place where dignity, comfort, and personal well-being are put to the test.
This is, of course, the public restroom.
This is not a trivial matter. A bathroom can be a place of refuge and respite where you take a moment to check out of busy campus life. However, it can also be a nightmare, an experience that lingers long after you’ve left.
In pursuit of the truth and to provide the student body with the most comprehensive, fact-driven analysis possible, a dedicated team of researchers embarked on an ambitious study: evaluating the bathrooms of FSU. Through rigorous fieldwork, we assessed these facilities based on cleanliness, convenience, privacy, and overall atmosphere. The results are in. Some will bring comfort; others, devastation. Here’s what we found!
Suwannee Dining Hall
General
These restrooms are pretty similar, so we lumped them together. Simply put, they are not ideal. Upon entry, an indescribable smell launched an unprovoked assault on our nostrils. The general level of cleanliness is questionable at best, with liquids and paper towels strewn about on the floor. This isn’t the kind of bathroom that you choose; it’s the kind you end up in out of necessity. It gets the job done.
Final Score: 2/5.
First Floor Strozier Library
General
Again, the consensus was pretty much the same for the men’s and women’s restrooms. The mini hallway you must walk through to get to the main bathroom area adds a fun touch, shaking things up from the other restrooms. It feels as though you’re walking through the entrance, about to reach this great, exclusive club, only to be met with the reality of a damp bathroom.
The floor is uncomfortably wet, detracting from the overall perceived cleanliness. Our primary issue with this restroom is that there are absolutely zero surfaces to rest your belongings. With no counter in sight, if you’re holding anything — a drink, laptop, or notebook — prepare to make a difficult choice.
Final Score: 2/5.
1851 Dining Hall
Women’s
A tight, intimate space with dim lighting that only emphasizes its lack of size. The dark walls make the room feel smaller than it already is. There are three stalls and one sink, which we can foresee causing traffic problems. There is also an unexplained beeping noise that adds to the ambiance while you do your business. Its source? Unknown. Its purpose? Unclear.
Men’s
Overall, the bathroom is very chill and has the same ambiance as the rest of 1851, but the floor is unsettling. It has the distinct texture and appearance of something designed to hide dirt rather than prevent it. The wall separating the urinal from the sink is awarded a privacy bonus. While the women’s restroom has a full-body mirror, this is noticeably absent from the men’s, eliminating the opportunity for one last moment of self-assessment.
Final Score: 3/5. A bit unsettling, but it has potential.
First Floor Student Union
Women’s
A triumph of automation gone terribly wrong. While a fully automatic restroom may be more sanitary, this is only a positive when the sensors reliably work. The toilets will flush preemptively (many times) yet refuse to do so when needed. Flustered, you walk to the sink where you must fight with the detectors to get the water running. On the bright side, there is an incredible amount of matte gray stalls, but we have to subtract the few that are always compromised.
Men’s
This restroom is structurally sound but flawed in execution. The locks on the stalls are inadequate, and similar to the women’s restroom, the censors are the primary issue here. Only one paper towel dispenser works, so there is a greater risk of leaving with wet hands.
Final Score: 3/5.
Earth, Ocean, and Atmosphere Sciences Building
Women’s
Upon entrance, you’re greeted with a welcoming blue tile wall. This pop of color is a nice change of pace. A large counterspace with warm lighting surrounds the mirror, making it feel a bit cozier. The handicapped stall was locked from the inside. It was very warm in the bathroom, almost uncomfortably so.
Men’s
The restroom wasn’t the cleanest, but it smelled nice. It’s pretty private and has good vibes overall. The issue with these restrooms lies in their inconvenience. The sinks are separated from the paper towel dispensers by a wall, so you must walk your wet hands over to dry them, dripping water on the floor. Additionally, only one of the sinks worked.
Most intriguingly, an adjacent restroom to the men’s and women’s featured a full shower, complete with shampoo and air freshener. The implications of this remain unclear.
Final Score: 4/5.
First Floor Dirac Science Library
Women’s
We were very pleased with this bathroom. The nice trim along the wall adds an unexpected sense of sophistication. In each stall, there’s a small shelf above the toilet for items, an often overlooked but highly appreciated feature. There wasn’t a lot of space between the stalls and the sinks, so we could foresee this restroom feeling cramped if there is high traffic.
Men’s
This was one of the better bathrooms on campus, with an enjoyable ambiance. The cleanliness left something to be desired, with poor air circulation and a lingering scent.
Final Score: 4.5/5. A strong choice.
Askew Student Life Center
Women’s
This is the gold standard for restrooms. It’s spacious, clean, and well-maintained. The dispensers on the wall were stacked with tampons, pads, and condoms. The bulletin board on the wall adds an enjoyable sense of community. The downstairs bathroom, while smaller, is often quieter and equally clean.
Men’s
This is an ideal restroom. With white floors and stalls, it feels cleaner and more sterile. Unlike other, darker-floored restrooms, if it happens to be dirty, at least it’s honest. The men’s restroom lacks the bulletin board of the women’s and does not have condom dispensers. The downstairs bathroom is nearly identical but features a single, oddly placed pillar in the middle of the restroom. While not a dealbreaker, it certainly raises questions.
Final Score: 5/5. This is what a bathroom should be.
Final Thoughts
The bathrooms of FSU vary greatly from building to building. For those seeking a genuinely stress-free bathroom experience, the ASLC, Dirac, or EOAS are your best bets. The Student Union and 1851 leave something to be desired, although we can’t say they’re a terrible choice. And, well, you should probably skip the Suwannee bathrooms.
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