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The 10 Stages of Netflix Addiction

Stage 1: So you got a Netflix account, congratulations! You finally took the plunge and committed to the $7.99 per month fee (or borrowed a friends account info). You’re probably thinking this will be great for rainy days, holiday breaks, or after a week of hard work when a movie or an episode or two will help you unwind.

Stage 2: Then a friend mutters the lethal phrase, “Have you seen (insert any show title)?”  You roll your eyes because they clearly don’t understand that you’re just too busy and important to watch television.

Stage 3: But then it’s a rainy day or class gets cancelled and you decide maybe you’ll watch the first episode… just to be nice to that friend of course.

But as we all know, one episode is never just one episode…

Stage 4: Thankfully, Netflix is incredibly thoughtful and just automatically plays the next episode for you, and the next episode, and the next episode, and the next.

They give you a solid 15 seconds to decide if you’re going to go live life and be productive or resume watching the show. Most of us just can’t make a decision that quickly so the Netflix watching continues…

Stage 5: You in fact are a very busy person whose schedule is indeed “so hectic” yet by the grace of God or some sort of higher power you’ve managed to fit in an entire season of your new favorite show and are starting on the next one. 

Stage 6: Your friends invite you to a party and you consider attending…

But ultimately you find a way to validate staying in on a Friday night and laying in bed binge watching that show of yours until you drift into a Netflix-induced slumber.

Stage 7: The next day your friends tell you that they’re concerned about your obsession with this show. And you realize at that moment no one understands you. They think it’s merely a show? Amateurs.

Stage 8: Your disappointment in your friends and frankly humanity leads you back to your computer, to Netflix, to your happy place. At this point you’ve lost track of time and probably can’t remember the last time you saw sunlight. It’s at this moment you begin to sense you might have a problem.  

Stage 9: You’ve decided to kick this horrid habit, but not before you finish this series of course.

Stage 10: Then a bittersweet day comes. You’ve finished the entire series (perhaps upwards of eight seasons or so). You know you need to kick this Netflix addiction to the curb. In this stage you’ll probably experience a broad spectrum of emotions, but mostly a lot of crying.

Meanwhile, on the inside a part of you will always love and believe in Netflix. Because after all, what’s so wrong with loving TV?

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