Hello, ladies.
There are these little pieces of dandruff that have floated out of the sky on occasion in the past couple months. Last year when the weather needed some Head & Shoulders shampoo (it’s supposed to get rid of dandruff), I was sick. This year, I’m quite sick again.
I’m sick of my hair.
Ignore all the stuff I said above about dandruff. Dandruff is the least of my worries. I’ve been walking around campus so freely in my beanie — the only one I own, which I spilt coffee on one morning last week — and appearing as though I planned to wear a beanie each day.
I didn’t plan this. No one would plan this.
For the past couple weeks, I’ve turned on my blow-dryer each morning only to observe my hair turn hard instead of dry. Hard, like someone replaced my conditioner with hair gel. Part of me actually does think it’s my conditioner, my very extra special and awesome conditioner that you can’t buy at Walmart, like I’ve been using it too long and need to switch back to the stuff they sell in stores.
Has this happened to anyone else, or has my hair taken on my young, rebellious personality and decided to protest my usual hairstyle? Saturday Night Live could do a sketch about my rebellious hair, and it would be a hit. Ryan Reynolds would guest star and portray me, and Kristen Wiig could play my rebellious, yellow spaghetti noodles of hair. Seriously, my hair is as hard as uncooked pasta.
On another note, I’d like to share some of my observations with you since living on-campus for the first time.
The guy in the room next to me yells a lot. His yells usually aren’t complete sentences.
A guy down the hall asked me for a lighter… I had a lighter, but is it that obvious that I carry a lighter with me at all times? What makes someone look like a lighter-carrier? I’m not going to know until J.K. Rowling continues the Harry Potter series with Harry Potter and the Lighter-Carrier’s Transportable Flame.
Compared to almost all of the guys on my floor, I look overweight. I can’t explain this, but for some reason I feel more comfortable around them than around strangers at the gym who may also be fat.
I don’t mean the Franklin College gym, though I did go inside for the first time last night. I burnt a total of three calories before I decided “I’m sexy, and I know it.”
Love,
Your Gay Best Friend, Tim
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Franklin chapter.