Message From Your Gay Best Friend, No. 04: My Heart is Served

 Hello, ladies.
 
I’ve done enough whining about my hair, your legs, and being under-appreciated. Today, I’ve made you a lovely dinner, and the entree is my heart.
 
I grew out of the “love is what matters” mindset when I was young, to a very small extent. I still look for “love,” I still hope for “love,” but for the most part it is overshadowed by the idea that education is more important. This comes and goes every time a new person comes along who I develop feelings for. Each new interest seems to hit a “restart” button on the game of life I’m playing.
 
I want to introduce you to every person who has hit that restart button for me.
 
Since kindergarten, I have had feelings for: Hilary, Shelby, Samantha, Courtney, Madison, Sarah, Taylor, Brittani, Kelly, Rachel, Taylor, Katie, Jessica, Joe, Bobby, Chris, Joseph, Meagan, Courtney, Vance, Brian, Amy, Jessica, Heather, Natalie, Cody, Patrick, Kyle, Cassie, Cassie, Kasey, Kyle, Creed, Tyler, Justin, Tyler, John, Nathan, Thomas,and more. That means at least thirty-nine people. Of those, I’ve dated five.
 
Would you expect this from me? Probably as much as you’d expect an octopus to wear a nightgown. My close friends at Franklin wouldn’t be surprised by this list. They might even remember me telling them some of the stories about the five people I dated. But who else would expect the freshman who is constantly working on homework or his business to be tied down by so many people? (And really, who would expect some of those people to have been girls)?
 
I want you to make a list, and I want you to email it to me. I want to know every name of a guy or girl you liked and can still remember. Wouldn’t it be interesting for us to know how many memorable crushes the average Her Campus reader has had throughout her life?
 
I don’t expect you to email me, but I think you should, and I’m telling you to, and I’m your gay best friend so you better do it, or I’ll steal your man. Got it? My Man-Mart cart has been empty for quite some time, and I am not afraid to steal whatever man you’re currently purchasing… Unless he’s super hairy, then that’s gross.
 
You should also email me if there’s a specific topic you want me to write about.
 
Sorry for the Debbie Downer story… Debbie Downer… I want a Little Debbie snack cake.
 
Love, Your Gay Best Friend,
Tim