Have you ever had a “best friend” who just treated you like complete dirt? Well, I had one from sixth grade up until a few weeks ago. Now some of you may not know what a toxic friendship is. The best way I can explain it is like an abusive relationship. Not the physical kind of abuse, but the mental abuse. A toxic friend is someone who constantly brings you down and treats you like the muck under their shoe. Someone who thinks they don’t do anything wrong, even when you’re crying in a corner. Sounds like fun right? It was such a big relief for me to finally become free from that friendship.
Let me give you a little history on this friendship. Me and, let’s call her Doe, met in sixth grade through a mutual friend. At this age, you don’t know who a true friend is. Or what you should even be looking for in a true friend. Me and Doe got close throughout middle school. But I noticed when me, Doe, and let’s call our mutual friend Barb hung out, I was always the third wheel. See, Doe and Barb had met when they were in elementary school. So, when I hung out with them, they always stuck together. It got to the point where they would ignore me and act like I wasn’t there. They would ignore my voice, walk in front of me, basically I was invisible. Barb was never the greatest friend to me. She was very physical, and I don’t think she intended to be. But Doe started to pick up little traits that began to bug me.
https://broadview.sacredsf.org/9270/features/having-friends-with-no-bene…
See, Doe didn’t truly become a toxic friend until high school. Barb eventually moved away, so it was just me and Doe. Doe made other friends, and so did I. Doe would hang out with her new friends and it never really bothered me. But whenever I hung out with someone other than Doe, she would get so mad. I could never do what Doe was able to do. If I would buy something that Doe had, I was “copying” her, and she wouldn’t talk to me for days. At this point, I never stood up for myself. Doe was my only friend who I talked to outside of school. She was who I ate lunch with, who I hung out with, and who I talked to 24/7. So, I couldn’t afford to lose Doe as a friend.
Then the name-calling started. I would eat certain foods or would eat a little too much of a certain type of food and she would call me a “worm”. She would get mad at me even if I told her to stop. We have gone days without talking before because I told her to stop. She criticized my music, what I would wear, who I talked to, etc. When I started driving, she immediately took over my car. She would criticize my driving and would put on her music. When I would try to put my music on, she would yell at me for it. We have had fights, like any friends. But I never realized it was all because of something stupid that she got mad at me for. And the worst part was that she never realized what she did.
https://imgur.com/gallery/wzzJS
Then came college. Doe stayed living at home and takes classes at a community college. I moved away to Framingham and am an elementary education and English major. I made so many friends in my first couple of months at Framingham State. I started to realize what a true friend was. Me and Doe slowly lost communication, but we made plans to go to Scream Fest together. She invited someone else, and I immediately dreaded going. I knew I would be the third wheel once again. The thoughts of canceling crossed my mind, but I decided to keep the peace and not cancel on them. Plus, I was the driver. I have never felt more like an uber in my entire life. As soon as she got in my car, she started criticizing my driving and my music. She immediately changed my music to hers. When we got to Scream Fest, we had to park far away and take a bus to Canobie. We wouldn’t have gotten to Canobie until 8:30, so we ended up going to the mall. As I anticipated, I was being treated like I was invisible. On our way to Target, I put on my music. Immediately Doe got mad that I put on my music. So, I finally stood up for myself. Doe just told me to take her home, so I did.
After I dropped Doe off, I got a text from her telling me we needed a break from each other. I told her I agreed and explained to her why I was mad. Like usual, she didn’t see what she did wrong. She then told me she was done with my negativity and then proceeded to unfriend me on Snapchat. Little did she know, I still had her and her mom on Instagram. Her and her mom both started posting quotes about a bad friend. I could tell they were geared towards me. Even her mom got involved! Like what is up with that! I had enough at this point. I blocked them both on Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, and text. They don’t need to be involved in my life anymore.
https://time.com/4232351/dumping-toxic-friend/
Once I blocked them, I felt an instant set of relief. I was finally free from a 7 year long toxic friendship. It felt amazing! My word of advice for ANYONE out there in a toxic friendship is to get away as fast as you can. Don’t let it escalate to the point my friendship got to. Trust me, it will be worth it in the end. Yes, it may take until you make true friends to realize you’re in a toxic friendship. But once you realize it, you need to get out! Do what’s best for you, and don’t worry about anyone else!