Leading up to college, I always imagined that in the first few weeks of school, I would find myself my dream boyfriend. But a year in a half in, I still haven’t found Mr. Perfect.
On top of the fact that I’m already feeling upset about this, going home for Thanksgiving break made me feel just so much worse. It seemed as if everyone in my family including my aunts, my cousins, and my parents were asking me endless question to get to know about the guys in my life.
Even my grandma told me it’s time to find a boyfriend. I had to answer, yet again, that I am indeed trying to fine one but I just can’t. Moreover, my parents feel I need a boyfriend so badly that my mom has resorted to almost setting me up with guys she feels would be perfect for me. She has even gone so far as googling how to find a boyfriend next to me. Talk about pressure.
So if you’ve been feeling kind of lonely or pressured by your family to find a boyfriend, just remember that you are definitely not alone in your quest to find him.
Take my friend Mackenzie*. We sit for hours talking about our crushes and how hard it is for us to find a boyfriends these days.
“It hasn’t been easy finding a boyfriend,” Mackenzie said.
Another one my friends agreed it hasn’t been easy finding a boyfriend. “It has been hard to find a boyfriend, but I can’t really pinpoint any specific reasons why,” Alexis* said.
“All but one of my friends are having a hard time with finding someone,” said Mackenzie. “It’s kind of depressing if you think about it.”
One of the problems my friends and I are facing maybe the fact that as women, we literally outnumber the number of males on campus. Fordham’s Rose Hill Campus has a student population that’s of 53% females and 47% males.
Add that to the fact that as Mackenzie said, “The cute ones all have girl friends.”
Plus as one of my friends said, guys our age usually aren’t looking to find a relationship just yet.
“Boys in their freshman or sophomore year just aren’t looking for a relationship yet,” my friend Brooke said. “Come junior and senior year they will be more mature and ready for one.”
Which all adds up to equal disaster in our quests to find boyfriends.
So what should we all do about this? The best thing we can do is not look for a boyfriend.
“The best advice is that you shouldn’t ever look to find a boyfriend,” said Brooke*. “And that’s what makes it the best part, it will come when you least expect it so that makes it spontaneous.”
We might feel as if we need to change for a guys but that’s not so.
“Girls shouldn’t dare change for a boy, we are perfect as we are,” said Brooke.
If you think your standards are too high and that’s what is holding you back, just remember that self-respect is number one to be happy in any relationship. If you’re talking or hooking up with a guy who just doesn’t fit your standards, let him go. All you’re doing is wasting time to find the boy who will truly make you happy.
If you are in a similar situation as I am, just remember not to feel upset by your parents’ wishes for you. Everything happens for a reason and when you finally bring home that dream boy, your parents will be thankful you waited instead of lowering your standards.
Remember you are not alone if you have been having trouble finding a boyfriend but try not to dwell on this too much. The right guy will come when you least expect him.
*Names have been changed